It does not surprise us that Joseph Anthony Barton, thinker, sage, midfield maestro has been accorded a place on the panel on Question Time tonight.
After all, who better to tease out the delicate nuances of macro economic policy than someone who regularly quotes Orwell, the Dalai Lama, Nietzsche, Virgil, Aristotle and Seneca – and who exposed his bare buttocks to Everton fans after scoring a last minute equaliser for Manchester City?
Ladies and gentlemen we give you some of the wit and wisdom of the great man, a flavour of the genius that could be brought to bear on tonight’s show…
Joey on the Labour Party
Labour strategists were left reeling when Joey put his finger on precisely why the party is struggling.
He wrote on Twitter: “Hate to say this but I struggle with Ed Milliband because of his lisp. Sorry leader of the country cannot have a speech impediment #lispist”
Milliband will be hoping he can muddle through as well as another famous lisper, Winston Churchill.
Joey versus the system
When Newcastle United made clear that they wanted to let him go he told his Twitter followers: “Somewhere in those high echelons of NUFC, they have decided, I am persona non grata… Made to train alone today, how predictable………”
Before a follow-up Tweet quoted George Orwell. “In times of universal deceit, telling the truth will be a revolutionary act.”
Joey the martyr
When he claimed to have been told off by the FA, who were allegedly worried that he was imparting “insider information” for predicting various football scores, Joey once again turned to Orwell to express his disbelief.
“These people are so out of touch with reality it’s untrue,” he wrote. “I’ll prob get a letter about the last few tweets. Hopefully they stop trying to be an Orwellian organisation and get to grips with the change that’s happening in the world around them.”
He later tweeted: “I will gladly go to jail for a month, in the name of free speech. I have no problem with what I said. Make me a martyr…”
Joey on homelessness
In March he shared the news that one of his homes appeared to have squatters living in it.
His Twitter reflections on the experience were as follows…
“Just heard the news some squatters had broken into my house last night and changed the locks.”
“Who ever they are, I hope their f****** fast runners.”
“For sheer audacity, I have to give them 10/10.”
“Luckily for them, I’m trying to give up violence…..#jammyb*******.”
“Might go to nearest pet shop and purchase 20 tarantulas, 20 snakes and as many rat as I can get my hands on, pop them through letter box.
“Then we’ll see who the clever one is. Be warned Squatters….ur time is up.”
Joey on celebrity culture
His views of The Only Way is Essex, as expressed on Twitter:
“I actually despise the whole of that firm, mentally deficient, turn up at the opening of an envelope, fame hungry, prized ball bags. #TOWIE”
And finally of course, Joey on football. Or rather the England players from the 2006 campaign….
“England did nothing in that World Cup, so why were they bringing books out? ‘We got beat in the quarter-finals. I played like s**t. Here’s my book.’ Who wants to read that?”