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US Govt Strikes Back refusing to build Star Wars Death Star

After more than 34,000 petitoned the White House to create giant battle-station, official says $850 quadrillion price tag is too high and US “does not support blowing up planets” logo
Published: Saturday, 12th January 2013 at 11:17 am

The United States government has rejected a petition to build a Star Wars-style Death Star after more than 34,000 citizens signed a petition saying the project would increase national defence and create jobs.


Obliged to respond to any petition that gains in excess of 25,000 signatures, Paul Shawcross, head of the administration's budget office on science and space said “the Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn't on the horizon,” crushing the hopes of petitioners who'd demanded construction begin by 2016.

He said the government had estimated the cost of building a Death Star (a vast space battle-station armed with a super laser as seen in Star Wars) at $850,000,000,000,000,000, noting “we're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it” and that “the Administration does not support blowing up planet.”

But Shawcross said that the US didn't need a Death Star because “look carefully and you'll notice something already floating in the sky -- that's no Moon, it's a Space Station! Yes, we already have a giant, football field-sized International Space Station in orbit around the Earth that's helping us learn how humans can live and thrive in space for long durations.”

He added: “We don't have a Death Star, but we do have floating robot assistants on the Space Station, a President who knows his way around a light saber and advanced (marshmallow) cannon, and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, which is supporting research on building Luke's arm, floating droids, and quadruped walkers.

We are living in the future! Enjoy it. Or better yet, help build it by pursuing a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field. The President has held the first-ever White House science fairs and Astronomy Night on the South Lawn because he knows these domains are critical to our country's future, and to ensuring the United States continues leading the world in doing big things.


If you do pursue a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field, the Force will be with us! Remember, the Death Star's power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force.”


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