The Guest Wing

Another week, another stately home that needs to bring in the punters to help pay for its upkeep. At Carlton Towers in North Yorkshire, the Fitzalan Howards are welcoming the Yorkshire Afghan Hound Society – “I’d be jealous of their hair” says Lady Emma when asked if she’d like one. Their chairwoman is a real Hyacinth Bucket, asking Lord Gerald (more of a Jack Russell type) with excruciating politeness to present the rosette.

Up the road in Northumberland, Sir Humphry Wakefield is waiting for guests for one of Chillingham Castle’s ghost tours. He’s just hoping they won’t leave sweat stains on a silk-backed chair. The horror!