Love in the Countryside

Victoria is an equine vet from Somerset, tall, blonde and businesslike. She has had boyfriends in the past but never been in love. The programme would love to help but her tick list (eg “They’ve got to be well presented”) could be an issue and in particular, her mild obsession with footwear: “Give me a pair of brown suede loafers and I’m yours,” she admits.

At least you feel that her no-nonsense temperament will be OK with the rigours of this emotionally brutal dating show. I worry for Hay-on-Wye vet George who is in agonies as he has to choose between two charming dates and simply can’t decide: “I would rather do a cow caesarean at three o’clock in the morning than this,” he groans.