There was cause for celebration on Sunday night’s I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here!
It wasn’t because there was a new PM elected, or that the camp won the Dingo Dollar challenge. It wasn’t even that Jamie and Rebekah amazingly won 11 meals during their horrifying Bushtucker Trial.
Nope, it was that for the first time Stanley Johnson was ruled in for a trial on medical grounds. Hooray!
And the result? We got to see him munch through witchetty grubs and grab a load of bull testicles by the gob.
Here’s what else happened on I’m a Celebrity:
Jamie and Rebekah braved The Hole
A hangry Jamie and mardy Vardy were the unimpressed celebs who had been chosen to take on The Hole. And no, that wasn’t a euphemism for cleaning out the dunny.
Instead, this Bushtucker Trial required both celebs to crawl underground and spend time in three chambers, one after the other. To win the full 11 stars on offer, they had to remain strapped in for the full 11 minutes. It was all or nothing.
“If my husband’s voted me to do this, he’s so dead” said Rebekah. Erm…
After braving the 100,000 insects in chamber one – including 25,000 crickets and 50,000 cockroaches – they crawled into chamber number two where they came up against 70 rats.
Jamie admitted he had a phobia of rats, so Rebekah tried to reassure him by likening them to hamsters. We’re pretty sure if you’re scared of rats you’re also scared of hamsters. But anyway, Jamie soon had bigger – or should we say smaller – worries.
“What if he bites my little todger off?” asked a nervous Jamie, as Ant quick-as-a-flash retorted: “He’ll still be hungry.”
Anyway the pair managed to survive and faced the utterly terrifying prospect of 12 crocodiles (yes, 12 crocodiles) in the third and final room.
It’s just that the crocodiles actually turned out to basically be the size of newts, and sort of just flopped out into the water and bobbed about next to the two of them. One sat near Jamie’s head for a bit, but the sight of Toff completely stacking it in camp was far more death-defying and dangerous.
Holding hands (bless) the pair managed to stick it out and finally emerged from the soily membrane unscathed. 11 meals WON.
We Khan’t Believe He Just Said That
Just when you think Amir Khan has said the daftest thing you’re ever going to hear Amir Khan say, he drops something else ridiculous.
Yesterday he was going on about how men shouldn’t cry because it shows weakness (*sigh*) and Khan’s Klanger of the Day during Sunday night’s show was “Can a woman be Prime Minister?” and “Has there ever been a woman Prime Minister?”
There are so many separate elements here to unpick, pour over and address…but we don’t think it’s worth the screen space it’s printed on. So we’re just going to leave that one there.
Stanley Johnson’s administration suffered an early blow
A new PM was sworn in, and Stanley Johnson was voted for by the public to take office at 10 Downing Creek alongside Toff as his deputy.
“Thank you very much for the honour which has bestowed me” Stanley said as he was elected. But much like Theresa May, he almost immediately suffered a very serious setback soon after taking charge.
Yep, he carried his beloved lilo too close to the fire and it got a hole burnt in the side of it and his treasured possession acquired a rather devastating puncture.
Luckily he just managed to stick a plaster on and the whole thing was fixed. If only Theresa May could whack a plaster over the Brexit negotiations…
Don’t just watch the nads, eat the nads!
Anyone experiencing Saturday Night Takeaway withdrawal symptoms were in luck when Ant and Dec wheeled out Jungle Takeaway – LIVE.
No doubt paying royalties to themselves for using the logo and intellectual property from their own programme, Ant and Dec revealed that the camp was to be split into girls vs boys.
The celebrities would then have to compete in a series of challenges to win points. Whichever team got the most points would then get a headstart in the ‘all day race’.
Kiosk Keith was soon fired as the guest announcer – no doubt freeing him up to write more erotic novels – and soon Amir was taking on Jennie in counting a minute while wearing a helmet of bugs, Stanley and Toff had to eat three witchetty grubs each and Iain and Kaz faced downing pints of penis and testicles. Which must’ve been so delicious that Iain went back for thirds.
But we just can’t decide if seeing Amir hugging himself and running away when being told to wear a snake around his neck was the highlight, or if it was Iain having to do mouth to mouth with Stanley as the pair passed bull testicles to one another. Which isn’t a sentence we ever thought we’d have to write.
I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! airs tomorrow at 9pm on ITV.