Things are looking decidedly shaky for Adam and Tina after what should be hereafter known as Cold Feet’s sex week.
The main bone of contention was the mysterious release online of a sex tape showing Tina (Leanne Best) and her slippery former lover, the married man Jamie (Alastair Mackenzie).
Somehow it popped on to the internet – with the finger of blame pointing to creepy Jamie – and it was watched by everyone in Manchester. Or at least every teenage boy at the schools attended by Adam’s son Matt and Peter and Jenny’s son Adam.
James Nesbitt’s Adam tried to be grown up about the whole thing, despite squirming inwardly at the footage (which we never saw but certainly heard – Tina was definitely having a good time). But while Adam tried – valiantly it has to be said – he didn’t succeed in letting things go.
Insisting that it was not Tina’s fault, showing sympathy, he still couldn’t get over what he saw and even imagined Jamie in the bedroom with him and Tina – in one of many surreal moments which have been popping up with more regularity this series.
In Adam’s mind Jamie lorded it over him, performing much better and then offering him pointers about his own woeful sexual performance.
Adam being Adam, he went to visit Jamie, got provoked and ended up thumping the ratbag in the face.
Jamie has never been a Cold Feet goodie and the fact that he lives on a houseboat sealed matters. In this show, only real pillocks do that sort of thing.
But Jamie succeeded in his attempt to come between Adam and Tina, who are at their lowest ebb after Adam followed her to her own meeting with Jamie and the two had a blazing row.
Tina, who gave stirring speeches all episode about feeling no shame about the tape and being a modern woman, was clearly having none of Adam’s whingeing. Adam still has a lot to learn about female sexual emancipation and to give her the space she demands.
Cold Feet’s weekly comic relief came from a trusty source this Friday: Pete and Jenny.
With all this talk of sex tapes, Peter admitted to the fellow male Feeters that he and Jenny had done one once – a messy and rather disastrous recreation of the famous fridge/food scene in the 1986 movie 9½ Weeks.
Instead of a Manchester version of Kim Basinger and Mickey Rourke getting sultry and turned on, Pete and Jenny’s food seemed to go everywhere and things were brought to a swift end as soon as they realised that yoghurt was off. How very Cold Feet.
And if that wasn’t enough, Karen managed to deal with her awful business partner Benjamin (a brilliantly dry performance from Paul Ritter) by imaging in him in S&M gear.
See? I said it was sex week.
In other news, Jenny’s Mum continues to cause strain in the Gifford household while David is getting in deep with his new client Nikki (Siobhan Finneran).
She clearly wants to leave her violent husband George (Robert Glenister) and he is encouraging her to scarper. It can’t really end well this, and it’s hard to see David escaping without at least one punch to the face. He has got away with it so far, but one thump per episode is probably enough.
Cold Feet continues on Friday nights on ITV at 9pm