Derek Acorah holds a seance and Sam Thompson gives Helen Lederer a lap dance in Celebrity Big Brother

And we don't know which is more harrowing

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There are absolutely terrifying scenes on tonight’s Celebrity Big Brother. Not because Derek Acorah holds a live seance (although that happens as well), but because Sam Thompson gives a rather perplexed Helen Lederer a lap dance.

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OUR EYES.

It’s only day two in CBB and already the housemates have taken leave of their senses. Sam gets oiled up and writhes around on Helen and Paul Danan almost has a punch-up with Barry off EastEnders in what we *think* is a bit of acting for the celebrity talent show. 

Undoubtedly the best moment is when Derek teams up with Karhik for a live seance and asks “a spirit person to go around” all of the CBB housemates – which surely is his spirit guide and 2,000-year-old chum Sam?

Anyway, as Derek’s talking about his seance, this is Sandi’s reaction:

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Priceless.  

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Celebrity Big Brother airs at 9pm on Channel 5.