In 2003, Colin – the self-proclaimed “God of Sex” – was on “Shag Highway heading West” to find himself a woman. And the very last time we saw him, he was returning from America with the fruits of his labour – supermodel Denise Richards – and wearing a grin on his face that reached his eyeballs.
Fourteen years later the 10-minute Love Actually sequel, Red Nose Day Actually, is nigh and director Richard Curtis has revealed that his sons are “particularly bitter” that we don’t discover the fate of casanova Colin, played by Kris Marshall. “I’m assuming that he’s in prison now,” said Curtis. “But I hope I’m wrong.”
Writing in this week’s issue of Radio Times, Curtis also admitted he was worrying about assembling enough of the film’s A-listers in one place to shoot the sequel, asking himself “Can we get any of the cast in the country at the same time? Is Liam Neeson making Taken 4? Is Lucia Moniz in Portugal? Is Colin Firth too grand now he’s won an Oscar?
“Last time round, we built our own version of Downing Street. Can we find another house that looks like Downing Street with a staircase that Hugh Grant can dance down?”
And, of course, the most pressing question of all… “Can Hugh Grant still dance? If he does, what can he dance to?”
Despite the many uncertainties, and the noticeable absence of Colin, we know we’ll be seeing a good few members of the original gang. Curtis revealed that Liam Neeson had kept the coat that he first filmed him in, and is wearing it again, and that Rowan Atkinson is “still wrapping things very lavishly”.
We can also look forward to an “outrageous suit worn by Billy Mack” and a little speech by the Prime Minister.
Oh, and lest we forget… Curtis added that there’s “someone standing outside someone’s door holding up some cards saying something, though right now I’m not quite sure what”.
To us, this sounds perfect.
Red Nose Day Actually will air as part of Comic Relief on the BBC on 24th March 2017