What started as a slightly naff celebrity sporting competition has become an ever so slightly controversial and headline-grabbing endurance test.
Not an endurance test to see who’s the quickest or the best on the slopes… but a test to see who can go the longest without breaking, dislocating or fracturing any of their limbs.
Yep, that’s right. The Jump is back on Channel 4 tonight and we’ll be here from 7.30pm live blogging all the action from Innsbruck.
21:01: The Jump will be back next Sunday night with the nine remaining celebrities. OK, so 13 made it through to the competition next week, but the law of averages says around four will probably have to withdraw in the week owing to injury…
21:00: And that was it! Everyone has an impromptu rave down on the ice as Josie looks on from the top of the jump like her invite to the party got lost in the post.
20:59: “She’s my homie,” says Emma of Josie. She so street.
20:59: When you’re reduced to Goggle-chat, you know you’re filling dead air.
20:58: We miss Eddie the Edwards.
20:57: We *think* that Josie was trying to encourage Emma Parker-Bowles by humping her. We think.
20:56: Oh dear. “Is she not going to do it?” says Davina, as Mark awkwardly gurns into the camera pretending to be upset that Josie Gibson is refusing to jump.
20:54: Wowzers! Jason did a “brilliant jump” in his bid to make it through to next week, and he more than makes it. Additionally in a bid to cost cut, it looks like they’ve recycled Ben Cohen’s outfit from last year.
20:52: Was Mark playing an imaginary piano after he landed then?
20:51: Louis Smith has done the best tonight, and he actually looks about a billion times happier about winning that mini cowbell than he was to win Silver in Rio.
20:48: We’re hearing rumours from Innsbruck that one of the contestants is refusing to jump! That is the whole point of the show, no?
20:45: Lydia is SO excited about winning that instead of an interview she basically just made a 20-second noise in the direction of Davina.
20:44: We’re quite amazed, but Lydia inched that from Emma. We’d have put at least £4.30 on Emma winning that.
20:42: Emma Parker-Bowles is a motoring journalist, apparently. Hmm. She also just said the phrase “hairy ball bags” on TV. We’re not sure Camilla would approve.
20:41: Lydia Bright is up next, and her one mission – apart from going home in one piece – is to beat former TOWIE boyfriend Arg who did the show last year.
20:38: Journalism is tres glam, as our Jump correspondent Huw can testify.
20:33: Josie gives Jade a whack with her ski stick thing before they even start, but it doesn’t hinder her and Jade crosses the line first!
20:32: Jade Jones is taking on Josie Gibson next. One of them has never put on skis, one has never seen a pair of skis.
20:30: Here’s a sad, lonely picture of Jason finishing solo. Bless!
20:29: Jason has managed to reattach his ski and comes down the mountain about four minutes after his fellow rugby star.
20:28: WAHEY! We have our first accident on The Jump. Jason fell at the first slalom and and nearly took out Gareth on his way down!
20:27: They missed a trick with Gareth’s outfit. Why doesn’t it have a Welsh dragon on it?
20:26: Gareth Thomas says he is the proudest Welsh man on this planet. We know this because he’s wearing a Welsh flag tea cosy on his head.
20:24: Jason Robertson is the next taking to the slopes. Apparently he’s a fast learner, and he’s up against fellow rugby star Gareth Thomas. Cue: BANTER
20:17: Amy Willerton is looking like a Miss GB Power Ranger as her face is a mixture of happiness and sadness as she’s told that she’s in fact not going home yet after all. Kadeena’s face could be described as disappointed when she got through, then.
20:15: “I survived it,” says Kadeena of doing the jump. Normally that’s just a phrase, in this programme it’s crucial.
20:14: It might be the title of the show, but the actual jump itself is always so anti-climactic.
20:13: And there flies Spencer, fighting for his place in the show with a distance of 14.55m.
20:11: Bradley got it! We wouldn’t have liked to interview him if he’d have lost that race to Dolan…
20:10: ARGH! Who won? Who won??!
20:10: Wiggo means business. He is also giving strong beard game.
20:09: Sir Wiggo is taking on Mark Dolan – the Joel Dommett of The Jump. Barely anyone knows who he is, but that might not stand in the way of Jump glory.
20:07: Here is the very excitable and enthusiastic Sir Bradley Wiggins who is swearing more than Gordon Ramsay on the piste.
20:06: And Hugo Taylor is there why?
20:05: We really don’t want any, thanks. It’s probably lethal…
19:43: Based on that performance, Louis Smith could be adding a giant cowbell to his Strictly Glitterball trophy in his front room. That was amazing!
19:41: Crikey, no messing around here. Unlike in previous years, we’re straight into a live slalom on The Jump.
19:39: Spencer is facing Louis Smith who says that 2016 was both a good and bad year for him. That’s one way of putting it.
19:38: So up the first is former Made in Chelsea star Spencer Matthews who says he’s not a lothario. Before we’re treated to a montage of him flirting with anything that has a pulse.
19:37: What’s with the utterly hideous puns and Gareth Thomas smashing his face into a cake?
19:34: Props to Bradley Wiggins. Firstly for causing controversy four minutes in to the show saying the word “piss” and also looking like he couldn’t care less while doing that cringe intro.
19:33: Here they come. Is this running on snow while high-fiving a load of people one of the challenges? It looks bloody dangerous and half of them nearly fell over then.
19:31: Goodness gracious. We’re only a minute in and we’ve also had ‘bell’, ‘tugging’ and ‘dick’ jokes. It’s not even past the watershed.
19:31: Davina introduces The Jump by saying the mountain is even bigger than before. Is that really a wise idea, C4?
19:29: Have you got your plaster casts at the ready? Because Here. We. Go. It’s Jump time.
19:12: Here’s Sir Wiggo, looking absolutely raring to go…and not at all narked off. Ah-hem. We’re also hearing that there will be a mannequin challenge airing on The Jump tonight, presumably so the producers can fill two minutes of airtime where everybody is still, safe and not breaking any part of their body.
18:54: Good evening, everyone! In just over half an hour we’ll be commencing the annual televised injury-a-thon that is The Jump. So settle in and pour yourself a Stiegl (it’s an Austrian beer, FYI) as a new batch of stupid brave celebs prepare to eat snow.
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