Matt Terry wins the X Factor 2016 – the results as they happened

Matt and Saara Aalto fought a titanic battle

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10.45

Matt Terry sings When Christmas Comes Around for the first time.

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10.30

Jonathan’s Final Thought

Eight weeks ago I started this live blog as an X Factor virgin, having never watched an episode. I honestly came into it with an open mind. I’ve long since aged out of thinking that popularity automatically means something is rubbish. On the whole I want to be like other people, and I want other people to like me. It’s the human condition.

Plus, while Strictly Come Dancing looks as appealing as playing the Knife Game with a fork, singing is a universal joy. But after eight weeks of the X Factor, I don’t understand how such an odd show can be so boring.

As a newcomer, series 13 was the equivalent of joining a cult. Dermot looks like one of those slick preachers on American religious television, and at every point baffling things happen for no reason, a strange sacrament between contestants, judges and the audience. The noise is unbelievable. Why is everyone always shouting? Why can’t they play more than five seconds of a song? Why all of the flashing lights? The atmosphere is so charged that the judges speak in tongues, babbling nonsense that nobody remarks on, like it’s totally normal. If they brought out a rattle snake and started foaming at the mouth, I wouldn’t blink.

And yet it’s dull, fist-chewingly dull. Dermot is a priest with a dwindling flock. We move through the traditions, dead eyed and resigned, the meaning long since lost. Everyone knows that this is pointless. No one will get famous. No one is saved.

Before I watched, I would never have believed how irrelevant the music is to proceedings. It’s clear that the contestants throw their hearts and souls into preparing, and they all improved as time went on. (Yes, even Honey G.) This shouldn’t be taken as a criticism of them. However, no one could genuinely enjoy the truncated and mediocre performances they’re forced into.

For all of the bleating about her ‘ruining the competition’, it’s why Honey G was so successful. She was something different, even if novelty rapping is an easy kind of different. There’s a reason she was brought back for a performance in yesterday’s final and has been signed with Syco. Simon Cowell, who cut his teeth with novelty records, gives people what they want, and what you all want is to whinge about Honey G on Twitter.

By the way, that wish fulfilment includes journalists. What struck me the most while watching was how X Factor is the ultimate clickbait machine. You’ve got a steady trickle of information and events on which to report (eliminations, who’s singing what, live blogs), plus manufactured stories (Emily/Ryan, Nicole/Matt) and manufactured controversies (‘Is the X Factor jukebox rigged?’). You’ve got dozens of people plucked from obscurity and ready to be investigated and humiliated. You’ve got hate figures (Honey G) and the judges constantly sparking off each other. It’s an impressive operation. The audience may be declining, but trust me, journalists will keep hitting this button until the high is long gone.

What’s missing is the human connection that music usually brings. The final was effective because it managed to get across the sheer exhaustion of this process. But before that point, ‘emotion’ was boiled down to five seconds of crying in an intro reel, Nicole having paroxysms over Matt and Dermot ‘having relations’ with their Dad. It feels cynical, with a nasty undercurrent that runs through the freakshow auditions, to Dermot sniping at the judges, to the abuse of Honey G and others on social media.

Like with all cults, I came into this looking for understanding, and was left feeling weary, confused and conned.

See you next year!


10.08

Well, that was quite the final. Congratulations to Matt Terry, and commiserations to Saara Aalto. They both deserved the win. A round of applause for all of the finalists, and everyone who applied to the show as well. It took guts to queue up, and a lot of hard work to stay. Here’s a link to download the single, which you really should do if you’ve been following all of these weeks. It all goes to a good cause.

But on to serious matters. Eight weeks ago I had never seen an episode of the X Factor? What did I make of my live blogging experience? Check back in 15 minutes to find out. 


10.05

Saara sings Whitney Houston’s I Didn’t Know My Own Strength. 

10.02

Matt’s first single is ‘When Christmas Comes Around’, written by Ed Sheeran, which sounds very much like Ed Sheeran wrote it.


10.00


9.58


9.54

If my stuttering stream is anything to go by, a lot of people are tuning in for the result. The gifs might dry up from now on, I’m afraid.


9.53

This year’s winner’s single was written by Ed Sheeran, according to Dermot.


9.48

9.46

Little Mix, apparently the only group ever to win the competition, are back in Wembley with some faulty mics and a very forthright dancer.


9.35

Matt singing I’ll Fly Away.


9.29

Matt’s first song and the X Factor auditionees have been uploaded.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGIAm89Ge8Y&showinfo=0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33tyMfg3ezw&showinfo=0


9.24

Hmm, Saara and a version of I Didn’t Know My Own Strength. Seems a bit middle of the road (not to mention on the nose) but they’re looking ahead to single sales.


9.21


9.20


9.19


9.17

Judges struggling to come up with anything else to say about Matt. To be fair, I’ll happily live the rest of my life without Nicole rhapsodising this wee man again.


9.12

Oh, it’s One Day I’ll Fly Away by Randy Crawford. Bit a danger Matt will make it, well, boring.


9.11

5.6 million votes thus far! Can Matt clinch it with his final song?


9.09

Now a round up of more or less random clips of the judges. (Nicole gives a killer Shakira impression.) A couple of nice moments when Dermot asks for their highlights. Sharon talks about needing to have fun at this point in her life…

…and as for Louis?

“My highlight was GETTING MY JOB BACK!” 


9.00

Wait, this still has an hour to go? How?


8.55

Here’s Saara’s final performance.


8.52

Suggs gives some good advice to the finalists:

“Just keep going. I see so many bands split up at the first hurdle, but if you stop you’ll never know if you could have made it.”


8.45

Time for Wembley Arena to turn into the House of Fun. Madness might seem a strange choice, but watching them now, it makes perfect sense.


8.38

The boy can sing. Here are the judges. (It’s hard to get across Nicole’s preening from this. Trust us, it was strong.)

Louis: “You’re in the final, you have the voice of an angel. Sam Smith, move over, you’ve got competition. No matter what happens, you’ve got a career.” 

Sharon: “My darling little boy, you’re just this young boy with the most spectacular voice that comes with you. You touch my heart.”

Simon: “From the duet last night, to this, you are having a very strong final. It’s like you suddenly evolved.“

Nicole: “I just want to thank you. You are the reason why I came back to X Factor.”


8.31

Matt now. Writing’s on the Wall is a rubbish song, but it does show off his incredible falsetto.


8.29

A typical Saara performance, if there is such a thing, leading to lovely comments from the judges.

Louis: “This show is about discovering an undiscovered talent who can sell music worldwide. That person is you. You have the X Factor.”

Nicole: “Saara you put the word fun in funtastical. (sic) You fill the entire stage with your effervescent energy.”

Simon: “Saara, on one of the most important lives of your life, you decided to come back with the most bonkers performance of your life. This is why the public is in love with you.”

Sharon: “I can’t think of anything else to say about your performances because you’ve said it all. I want to thank Nicole for sending you to me, because she picked you as my wild card. You are a great example to other women.”

Saara: “About a year ago I thought I would quit, because I couldn’t find my place. And here it is.”

8.22

Saara’s up first, Sharon giving an emotional plea to fans: “her future is in your hands.” We’re a long way from when Sharon forgot her name and her native country. (Well, not that long, but still. It’s nice.)


8.19


8.11

A quick singalong with Kylie to kickstart the festivities. Now there’s an example of a career gone right.


8.05

And we’re off.

7.50 

Hearing there have been more than 3 million votes thus far, and it’s neck and neck between Saara and Matt. Some genuine excitement for once.


7.45


7.35


7.30

Lest we forget, Simon Cowell’s bread and butter used to be novelty pop songs. Here he is singing ‘Go Go Power Rangers’.


7.20

Of course the biggest news of the weekend isn’t the winner, but this.


7.10

Tonight’s guest singers

Kylie Minogue

Little Mix

Madness


7.05

Saara and Matt will be reprising two of their mainstays for tonight’s performance.

Saara Aalto – It’s Oh So Quiet by Bjork

Matt Terry – The Writing’s On the Wall by Sam Smith


7.03

The bookies have gone back and forth over whether Saara Aalto or Matt Terry will clinch it tonight. Terry had a stronger showing yesterday, and it’s possible he will receive the bulk of 5 After Midnight’s voters – similar demographics and all that. However, Aalto has had the momentum behind her these last few weeks. I suppose the big question is: who does Vladimir Putin want to win?


7.00 – The Results

We’ve made it! We’re here! The X Factor final results! I genuinely wondered if we would back then, in the doldrums of week five, but look at us now! Just two acts and two hours and we’re free!

Oh, yes, I’m Jonathan Holmes and eight weeks ago I had never seen X Factor. 

Let’s blow this thing and go home.



 

10.07

Well, it was the result we all expected, but Saara and Matt have worked hard and deserve to be here. Commiserations to 5am. For the first and only time I’ll be back tomorrow for the live results show. Until then…

To be continued


10.05


10.00

The 5am boys are all smiles, very magnanimous about it all. Presumably they’re thinking about the numerous pop-conquering X Factor acts who never actually won the competition.


9.58

It’s 5 After Midnight.


9.51

We’re almost there now, just time to find out who’s in third. It’s going to be 5 After Midnight. Let’s find out if it’s 5 After Midnight!


9.45

The Weeknd now, who is mathematically impossible to dislike, so let’s spend the time trying to work out how this show still has 20 minutes left to run.


9.38

Mad props to Honey G for subtly plugging her new single 15 times in a one minute interview.


9.37


9.35

Wait, what’s happening. Oh my God. It’s…it’s…


9.30

Hmm, felt like Aalto got a bit overawed by the song there, possibly because she was doing a fairly ‘straight’ cover with few embellishments. Of the duets, Matt and Nicole are the clear winner, but I say that through gritted teeth and a taut sphincter.


9.28

It’s Adam Lambert.


9.26

Who could possibly match Saara Aalto singing Bohemian Rhapsody?

Fingers crossed for Kate Bush!


9.25

I’m enjoying how Nicole loves Matt so much but she’ll happily blow him off the stage during their duet.


9.20

Another dose of Nicole/Matt ickiness – “we’re so far away from each other right now!” – but at least we’re on to Matt’s duet song. Purple Rain is fun. Wonder who it’ll be….oh.

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9.12 

5 After Midnight are back, duetting with Clean Bandit on a version of Tears that better get really good really quickly.


9.05

Simon Cowell pays an emotional tribute to both Louis and his mother.

“The bravery of what you’ve just done. I respect you as an artist. I respect you as a person. Your mum was so proud of you, and she was so looking forward to seeing you here tonight. She’s looking down on you right now.”

Tomlinson kept his composure throughout.


9.00

Dermot having to cover a lot of technical glitches tonight, from faulty microphones to missed cues and now, a delay in Louis Tomlinson’s set. Tomlinson’s mother Johannah Deakin passed away Wednesday night, aged just 42.


8.58


8.50

A stunning performance that barely needs embellishment by the judges. An obvious first single.


8.49

Wow, what an incredible homecoming reception.

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8.44

Definite winner Saara up next, who we’ve apparently snatched away from Finland and made a native Briton. Feel free to insert your own Brexit joke here, I can’t be bothered.


8.37

Judges unanimous in praise for Matt, but is there something more going on? Dermot calls the dynamic between the singer and Nicole, his mentor, “flirty flirty flirty!”

That’s putting it lightly.


8.30

Matt Terry up next. Apparently as well as preparing for the final, he’s had to live through his own Kubrick movie.

 
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8.27

I usually mute the adverts, so hadn’t noticed those baffling Snapchat Talk Talk things feature celebrities tonight. This is Kylie in a hat. You kids like this stuff, right?

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Oh, while you’re here, have you had a chance to peruse some of the many fine adverts and offers right on this very page? You should!


8.25

I’ll take that Pulitzer now, thanks.


8.19

This Wembley Crowd really is something, lots of energy coming through, must be scary for the acts. Judges are kind to 5 After Midnight, but Cowell does get one dig in: “Louis, you may be a horror of a human being…”


8.15

It’s only now, at the end of the series, that I realise why the judges’ mime intros are always so weird. They act like they’re in Power Rangers.

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8.12

Five After Midnight up first, but first a tour round the old neighbourhood. Everyone is very proud of the boys, as they should be. Say what you will, everyone works phenomenally hard on this show.


8.10

And we’re off. The final kicks off with clips from the auditions and a mass sing along with ex contestants. This would all be very nostalgic if it hadn’t happened two days ago.


7.55

The brainstorming continues on Twitter.


7.50

So if X Factor’s ratings don’t improve for the final, ITV should consider replacing X Factor with ‘Close Window 50‘.

Which sounds amazing. 


7.45


7.40


7.35


7.30


7.25

In that interview, Dermot also goes back to the Fright Night/Jukebox ‘controversy’. (I maintain my stance: this is not a thing to care about. I swear, if I find you Tweeted about this, I will show up at your house and sigh into your terrified face. My exaggerated eye-roll will put you in the ground.

“We said to Simon beforehand: ‘Are you sure you want Fright Night on there? Because if it lands before Halloween it’s going to look weird, and if it lands after Halloween it’s going to look even weirder. And if it falls on Halloween, we’re going to get murdered!’ And it landed on Halloween. People were saying ‘fix’ like it was some 200-1 nag that came in – but there was a one-in-five chance it was going to land on Fright Night.”


7.20

Right, fine, let’s get the backstage stuff out of the way.


7.10

A few notes:

  • Does Matt Terry constantly sing slower versions of slow songs, or is he being sucked into a black hole?
  • Saara Alto is now odds-on favourite to win, but is that a winning track?
  • Crazy in Love by 5 After Midnight. OK, sure. Crank up the speed and it could be fun.
  • I’m a bit concerned there aren’t more songs on this list. One each? How are they going to fill the programme? There’s only so much nonsense Sharon can shout.

7.05

First things first, here’s who’s singing what.

Matt Terry – Take Me Home by Jess Glynne

Saara Alto – Everybody Wants To Rule The World by Tears For Fears

5 After Midnight – Crazy in Love by Beyonce


7.00 

Hello, I’m Jonathan Holmes and despite never watching series A – W, I’ve been your X Factor blogger for the last two months. Tonight: the final.

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My children, we are so, so close to the end.


Catch up with our coverage

Week 9: Nicole Saltslinger

Week 8: Attack of the Trolls

Week 7: “Every year is the worst year of the X Factor”

Week 6: “We’re all trapped in a Tom Stoppard play”

Week 5: Furious X Factor fans send SNAKES to judges!

Week 4: Fright Night Fakery and the X Factor Tabloid Factory

Week 3: “Honey G is the Donald Trump of contestants”

Week 2: Enter Robbie Williams

Week 1: “It’s less a TV programme than a migraine, isn’t it?”