1. Thanksgiving is a rehearsal for Christmas, yeah?
There’s turkey, too many relatives, presents and a day off work… isn’t it just Christmas? But a month too early?
2. What is this Game, and where can we buy it?
Sure, we play Monopoly at Christmas, but this Game seems like a really, really big deal. How many people can play? Can we join in?
3. What’s actually being celebrated?
Something about pilgrims? Turkeys? Pilgrim Turkeys? Because it isn’t the birth of Jesus. We know that now.
4. Wait, so people actually have to SAY what they’re thankful for?
Like, they go round a circle and express genuine sentiment and gratitude about their life? Can it be anything you’re happy about? Like, the new series of Game of Thrones?
5. Why does a gigantic fast food chain character fly down the road?
Are people also giving thanks for chicken nuggets? Maybe they have turkey nuggets on Thanksgiving?
Is this some kind of seafood? Cake?
A chicken stuffed into a duck stuffed into a turkey? How? And why?
8. Why is the president forgiving the turkey?
…and not the other way around?
9. What do you actually do with pumpkin pie?
Would you have gravy with it, or eat it for dessert like cake? And aren’t pumpkins for Halloween?
Maybe Brits should just stick to Christmas. They feel safer there.