Here ye, here ye: it’s over! The quarter-finals are through. From leaky pies to peacock marzipans, Bake Off episode eight was an emotional rollercoaster of Shakespearean proportions.
But which baker got the chop? And who came out on top? Here’s the night as it happened…
9.01pm And on that bombshell, it’s all over. Until next week, bye for now.
8.59pm And Benjamina’s gone. This is actually happening. Poor Selasi!
8.59pm The star baker today is… *drum roll* Candice. Obviously.
8.58pm Wait, did Candice’s peacock centrepiece just become the best bake EVER on the show?
8.56pm Looks like another bad bake from Benjamina. Surely she’s for the chop…
8.54pm Andrew’s got balls of steel presenting his jousting centrepiece to Mary Berry.
8.53pm Jane’s done it! A well-textured marzipan may have just got her a place in the semis.
8.49pm Selasi’s already in trouble with his history book bake…
8.46pm Andrew’s really approaching his jousting bake Henry VIII-style
8.44pm Come to think of it, you never see Hotpie and Candice in the same room.
8.43pm And Candice is attempting a Game of Thrones peacock cake. Of course, you’ll know a peacock is the sigil of House Serrett of Silverhill. House words: “I have no rival”. Indeed.
8.42pm Incredible: Selasi’s gone with a history-book-cum-marzipan bake.
8.41pm So, apparently the Earl of Leicester once tried to seduce Queen Elizabeth with a massive marzipan bake of his own castle.
8.38pm HISTORY SEGMENT KLAXON. Kettle. On. Now.
8.38pm Today’s showstopper: a Tudor marzipan centrepiece.
8.37pm “Jumbles look like something in a Bond film” thinks Candice. Presumably she means The Man with the Golden Bun.
8.35pm Judging by the first two rounds, Benjamina and Jane are in trouble. And Andrew, well…
8.34pm Overall, a strong technical challenge all round, but Candice has come out on top. Jane’s last, below Benjamina, Selasi and Andrew.
Candice here, channelling her inner-garage-inflatable-wavey-arm-man. 8.30pm
8.27pm I am not proud of making this
8.27pm Andrew weird face #367: mini mortar and pestle.
8.26pm And apparently jumbles are just like Paul Hollywood – “hard on the outside and soft in the middle.” “You’re about right,” says Mary. Because Bake Off needs more innuendos.
8.23pm Just kidding – here’s exactly what they are how to make them.
8.23pm Today’s technical: jumbles. Which I’ve never heard of either.
8.22pm Overall, strong signature bakes all round. Except Benjamina. Raise your game, girl!
8.20pm Time’s up and Andrew’s cog-pies are first in front of the judges – and they turn!
8.19pm TUDOR PUN KLAXON: “Bakers you’ve got 5 minutes to make like Anne Boleyn and get ahead.”
8.17pm Think Mary liked Candice’s Tudor pie slices maybe a little too much…
8.13pm Absolute disaster: Benjamina’s pies got a massive leak.
8.11pm After struggling with his signature, Selasi says to Sue he’s got a great idea to see him through to the semis: bribery.
8.10pm Just saying, that hair combined with that lavender ‘tash makes Sue look like a herby Hitler.
8.09pm Selasi’s baking level tonight: prodding pies with a biro.
8.08pm Jane’s packing the meat into her pies with a thin pastry, while Andrew’s adding the minimum filling with a thick pastry. Absolute mayhem.
8.07pm And Benjamina’s gone for that classic Sun “Mexican/Tudor” baking theme.
8.07pm “Are the Guineafowl wild in Ghana?” says Mary. “They’re livid,” says Paul smugly, even though this makes literally no sense.
8.06pm And Selasi’s kicking off tonight by doing “traditional Tudorish things”, which apparently means baking a Guineafowl pie.
8.05pm Andrew’s Tudor signature bake: clockwork pies. We repeat: Clockwork. Pies.
8.05pm Mel’s Jane Sey-mour pun really just raised the Parr tonight (sorry).
8.04pm Selasi says that the Tudor period lasted 1485 – 1603. And he’s bang on. Move over David Starkey.
8.03pm Right, we’re properly off now! The signature bake tonight: Tudor pies.
8.02pm Candice says the final five are like “the Spice Girls”. Interesting. But who’s who? Well…
Candice: Posh spice. Don’t even try and pretend otherwise.
Andrew: Ginger Spice. For reasons completely incomprehensible to man.
Jane: Scary Spice. She’s simply too nice and that’s a little creepy to me. Sorry, Jane.
Benjamina: Baby Spice. Because at aged 23, she’s the youngest of the group (yes, man-child Andrew is older than her by two years).
Selasi: Sporty Spice. Why? Because that’s the only one left. However, I’d pay good money to see ‘Selasi Spice’ join the band at the next reunion.
8.01pm And tonight’s episode obviously starts with Sue playing the Tuba…Tuba…Tudor…gettit?! I’M GOING TO MISS YOU SO MUCH, MEL AND SUE.
7.59pm Right, hold on to your ruffs and feathered hats – we’ve got ONE MINUTE TO GO
7.30pm Egg timers at the ready: this is your HALF AN HOUR warning.
6.25pm Just 90 minutes now until Tudor week, which, no, is not an hour long history segment. It is, however, a chance to see some top notch ye olde baking from the tent. Bring. It. On.