The Great British Bake Off 2016 continues this week, live from 8pm on BBC1. Now we’ve had our cake, it’s time for Biscuit Week.
Follow along live with us. It’s going to be cracking. Honest.
8.59pm There you have it. Another week down, and a clear winner according to Paul. Arise Queen Candice.
8.58pm Val lives to dance another day. Louise had a wedding to forget.
8.57pm Candice was standout Star Baker. Easy decision.
8.56pm Val or Louise?
8.55pm Did we just catch Andrew giggling at Candice’s double entendre? Oh Andrew…
8.53pm Anyone else struggling with Paul’s use of a chef’s knife on a slate cutting board. Someone will spend the next week sharpening that…
8.52pm Kate meanwhile might have blown her Star Baker chances with soft and not-very-ginger gingerbread.
8.50pm “We’ve had a problem with finishing before haven’t we?” Mary tells Val gently.
8.50pm “It reminds me of my Mum’s ginger biscuits,” Paul tells Andrew. Is that a glistening tear in his eye? Surely not, no. It’s just been raining outside.
8.49pm With all the collapses, it’s easy to forget just how amazing some of the bakes are. Andrew’s precision-engineered Cambridge bridge. Candice’s picture of pub-fection…
8.48pm Oh God, not one but TWO collapsed creations in the final minute. Louise’s toppling church might just have answered Val’s prayers.
8.46pm Just as Val thinks it’s stuck, Manhattan collapses in front of her. They’re all struggling, to be honest, but Val is a disaster waiting to happen.
8.44pm “You can see what this scenario is going to be, can’t you?” Oh Val, don’t go giving the producers a chance to set your (3D) story up now. Keep us guessing until the final minute at least.
8.44pm “I think I can smell burning. Can you smell burning?” Louise sends everyone into a panic as they check their bakes. Rav is the guilty party, saying he will dust it with icing sugar to “cover some of the sins.”
This challenge has put the fear of God into quite a few bakers hasn’t it?
8.43pm So not feeling the love for Kate then? Harsh.
— Juno Dawson (@junodawson) August 31, 2016
8.39pm Got a feeling Paul is unimpressed with the Brownie promise.
8.38pm Baby baker Michael. Aww, Mel, you had to have photographic evidence didn’t you?
8.36pm The tent is a broad church, and Candice is preparing her showstopper pub, complete with sticky ginger carpet.
8.34pm Louise is auditioning for Don’t Tell the Bride on the side here. Picture perfect Welsh chapel, then cut to her husband-to-be planning a speedboat entrance in Magaluf.
8.34pm Remember how painful it is to write about yourself in a CV? Yep, you didn’t have to then carve it in butter and flour. This is painful.
8.33pm Showstopper time! And no, we’re not just recycling that old gingerbread house test, oh no. This time the bakers have to make a 3D Gingerbread Story, at least 30cm high featuring at least eight characters or objects.
What next? A gingerbread feature film? Scale-model recreation of the Battle of Britain? Life-size representation of Paul’s unfortunate Smeg fridge incident (there’s not still an injunction on that is there?).
8.32pm The Great British Bromance with Selasi is very much over. Pre-showstopper assessment and, as we suspected, Louise is in trouble along with Selasi. Val is still in danger.
But it’s wide open when it comes to Star Baker.
8.31pm Selasi is bottom of the class, Val has levelled out in fifth. Benjamina is racing up the table in third, Jane is the new Queen of Consistency in second, and Kate tops the technical table.
8.30pm Judging time, and there are a few “issues”. Michael’s pilgrimage to Microwave Corner has not gone well, while Candice has served up raw biscuit, and Selasi has had the first properly bad bake of the competition. Val though might have helped herself after chucking her iced biscuits all over the tent.
8.25pm Whenever bakers go over to the microwave in the corner, it’s almost certain to go terribly.
No wonder Michael’s adopting the oven brace position.
I hate it when it gets stiff and stuck in the piping bag, too. #gbbo
— ˗ˏˋ niki albon ˊˎ˗ (@NikiAlbon) August 31, 2016
8.23pm Paul’s biscuit judging technique hasn’t exactly gone down well on Twitter.
Yes, because we all test our biscuit crispness by THROWING AT A SMALL PLATE… Just eat it. #gbbo
— John Whaite (@John_Whaite) August 31, 2016
8.23pm 12 Viennese whirls from Mary Berry. Light and fluffy and perfectly piped. An hour and a half of competitive beating followed by aggressive bag squeezing.
In order words, just another night at Bezza’s amateur boxing club.
8.22pm And we’re back, and after the only Sue Perkins appearance of the episode, it’s on to the technical challenge.
8.20pm And now, the history bit. Excuse us while we make a cuppa, and someone else defends its continued slightly pointless presence in the show.
8.19pm PAUL HOLLYWOOD HANDSHAKE. This is not a drill. Nailed it.
8.17pm “They look hideous, but taste amazing.” I think that’s a compliment Candice?
8.12pm Dennis the pug. Purple polkadot onesie. Themed lipstick. Candice is coming into her own this week.
8.08pm Classic Bake Off editing there. Jane wondering how anyone can achieve uniform thickness when rolling out dough. Very next shot: Andrew shows off his prized possession – a rolling pin with a guide for measuring thickness. Show off. As for old school Val? An old school ruler of course.
8.07pm Tom has basically chucked a Starbucks into his biscuits, and Selasi is going to blow Mary’s head off with blended scotch bonnet chillies.
8.06pm Kate’s lavender and bergamot flavours bring another look of terror from Bezza. “Slightly skincare,” says Mel. Ouch.
8.06pm Louise going for bara brith-inspired, sheep-shaped biscuits. Mary’s expression when Louise said they wouldn’t be crunchy…
8.05pm Does Bake Off have a parka marketing deal? Everyone’s wrapped up like it’s Brighton 1964.
8.04pm By the way, Sue’s still doing the voiceover work in this week’s episode apparently. Oh, and the history bit, which is set to make a welcome return later on…
8.03pm So that’s the signature challenge: 24 iced biscuits, completely identical, “as crisp as Paul Hollywood’s hair.” Imagine the texture. Feel the bristles running through your fingers. I’ll never be able to break a bourbon again.
8pm Mel there, channelling her inner Liam Galllagher to deliver the news we already knew about but still dreaded: Sue Perkins won’t be presenting this week’s episode.
A key ingredient missing? Of course. But don’t fret folks – we’ve been assured that Sue WILL be back for next week’s episode.
Now, on to the matter at hand: Biscuit Week. “Last week was a piece of cake. Now, it’s crunch time – but who is going to snap first?” Keep it up Mel, you’re doing a cracking job.
7.55pm FIVE MINUTE WARNING. It’s time.
7.46 One last chance to check up on the Bake Off contestants. One week isn’t really enough to get to know them, is it? Hopefully tonight’s the night they become firm friends.
7.44 Even on a Bake Off night, last year’s champ Nadiya STILL has time to whip up a storm for the family. You can at least hang on after Bake Off has finished to watch the latest episode of The Chronicles of Nadiya.
— Nadiya Jamir Hussain MBE (@BegumNadiya) August 31, 2016
7.40 Throwback to last week’s episode, aka The Great British Bromance. Will Selasi earn the Paul Hollywood Handshake this week?
7.30 You can get the full details here, but Sue had to pull out of filming this week’s episode because of a family bereavement. And just to be clear, filming took place earlier this spring, and she WILL be back for tomorrow’s episode.
Until then, Mel will just have to struggle on by herself. Don’t know how she’ll manage…
7.26pm Lots of love for Sue Perkins coming in as news filters through that she won’t be presenting tonight’s ep.
— Zoe (@ShortyAZK) August 31, 2016
7.17pm Quick rumour for tonight’s ep which I think is OK to share – apparently GBBO contestant Candice (she of the dark lipstick) has a special show of support from her pug Dennis… Here’s the little fella in all his glory.
— Candice Brown (@CandiceBrown) August 17, 2016
7.09pm Well this is one way to pass the time: #teanandcoffeetunes (better than looking up at The One Show constantly).
#teaandcoffeetunes All the leaves are brown and sky’s earl grey ???
— Ricardo (@Clyde616) August 31, 2016
7pm One hour to go until Biscuit Week. How many of these baking clichés will be ticked off tonight? Not that we’re complaining!
— TwistedDoodles (@twisteddoodles) August 31, 2016
4.35pm But it’s OK, we’re sure Mel is more than capable of flying solo. We’ll be updating as go through the evening, but for now, the key info you need to know is:
— Tom Hovey (@tomhoveyart) August 31, 2016
4.34pm Oh, and FYI, tonight’s episode is missing one key ingredient: Sue Perkins. The presenter is absent this week – find out why right here.
4.30pm Good afternoon! We’re starting a little early here, because there’s quite a bit of housekeeping to get through before tonight’s episode.