31 of Doctor Who’s best insults

Ensure you're never stuck for a witty comeback again with these out-of-this world putdowns...

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When you’re always the smartest guy in the room, it can be hard not to lose patience with the little people sometimes. Or at least, that’s the Doctor’s excuse for his frequently less than perfect bedside manner.

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But the Time Lord isn’t the only one to regularly deploy withering put-downs and weapons-grade sarcasm – his friends and enemies often give as good as they get, too.

Here, we’ve rounded up some of our favourite examples of insolence, mockery, derision and general unpleasantry in the Doctor Who universe. Why not have fun by trying some of them out on friends, colleagues and the boss? They’ll love it. Probably.


1. “If I’m ever in need of advice from a psychotic potato dwarf, you’ll be the first to know.”

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The Doctor lets Strax down gently. (The Snowmen, 2012)


2. “This is not war – this is pest control!”

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The Daleks put an end to those “Who’s the Doctor’s greatest enemy?” pub arguments once and for all with some serious Cyber-bitchslapping. (Doomsday, 2006)


3. “It’s okay, I understand. You’re an idiot.”

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And this is the Twelfth Doctor being understanding. (Under the Lake, 2015)


4. “You’re my favorite, you are. You are the best, you know why? Cos you’re so thick! You’re Mr Thick Thick Thickety Thickface from Thicktown, Thickania. And so’s your dad!”

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Do you think the Doctor is trying to tell this clockwork droid something? (The Girl in the Fireplace, 2006)