Three days in the jungle have taught us that there’s nothing Lady Colin Campbell can’t handle – bar the Panic Pit Bush Tucker Trial that understandably evoked traumatic memories of a relative’s murder – and that most certainly includes former champion boxer Chris Eubank.
Tony Hadley and Eubank’s jungle leadership strategy was the source of quite a few mutinous mumbles: Brian Friedman in particular didn’t appreciate being treated like a “servant” while Kieron Dyer likened Hadley’s regime to a gruelling pre-season football training session.
So, when formerly Zen deputy leader Eubank balked at the idea of having to lean over and tell Yvette Fielding what day it was on the calendar – just in case one got into trouble for flouting the rules stating that he and Hadley couldn’t lift a finger, of course – the seeds of an explosive showdown seemed to have been sewn.
And when he suggested that celebs who failed trials should have to clean out “the dunny” as punishment – one just wants to give them an incentive to try harder, chaps – nobody was impressed.
Especially not Lady C.
The woman who wouldn’t let anyone wash her knickers – one should be ever so careful for “the help” might talk about one’s scandalous smalls – had already clashed with head chef Friedman over how best to cook dinner, and was quick to call Eubank (and his seriously chic seashell monocle) out.
“I tell you something, you’re singing one tune out of the side of your mouth now. Had you not got your aim you’d be singing a completely different tune out of the other side of your mouth”, she snapped, before telling big boss Hadley that the boxer could do with learning some humility.
Eubank’s son wasn’t so sure though…
Now there’s a jungle rumble a few of us mere ‘oiks‘ would love to see. The Lady wouldn’t be long flooring the champion boxer with a few choice barbs. One wouldn’t even have to lift a finger.
Meanwhile over at the waterfall, Jorgie Porter had a Myleene Klass moment in a white one piece that caught the eyes of her female campmates.
But it didn’t take the Hollyoaks starlet long to discover that this showering in a white swimsuit lark wasn’t half as glamorous as Ms Klass made it look all those years ago. And with the freezing water dripping down from on high, it’s no wonder she was sorely tempted to have a quick wee.
If the night belonged to anyone, though, it was the jungle’s newest Reality TV recruits, who couldn’t have been happier to touch down at Snake Rock. TOWIE’s Ferne McCann, Geordie Shore’s Vicky Pattison and Made in Chelsea’s self-declared villain Spencer Matthews wasted no time in making themselves at home, much to the delight of Twitter.
And straight-talking no-nonsense “gobby girl” (her words, not ours) Ferne had their I’m a Celeb strategy sussed in mere seconds: “He’s top shagger, you’re the troublemaker and I’m the bitch”, she told her new pals, ensuring everyone had their semi-scripted roles straight.
Nothing says Reality TV like a decent dramatic narrative y’know.
“Yeah, we’re literally like cavemen”, Matthews marveled as the trio LITERALLY sent sparks flying (the headlines write themselves) and succeeded in lighting a fire, before pulling his new campmates in for a three way hug.
The ladies weren’t complaining, though. In fact, they seemed particularly taken with the bandana wearing bad boy, commenting that he was much nicer than they’d expected him to be.
And with those powers of persuasion working overtime, #GeorgeOfTheJungle – it’s an actual THING on Twitter – had best watch his back with Jorgie when Spenny joins the camp.
After all, Chelsea’s own ladies’ man is known for a rather different brand of monkey business.
We’ll bet Lord MiC wouldn’t mind letting “the help” wash his leopard print loincloth either…
I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! continues Thursday at 9:00pm on ITV