I’m a Celebrity day one: failed high fives, Chris Eubank being Zen — and Lady Colin Campbell being hilariously unhelpful

We've dissected the crucial jungle moments from the first night in the Australian outback...

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It officially kicked off in the I’m a Celebrity Jungle last night in an extra long episode — and despite some sitcom about two women called Margaret and Mabel getting in the way, it was a very entertaining hour and fifty minutes…

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First up, there was a betrayal! Susannah Constantine (the non-Trinny half of that duo who were telling people what not to wear before Gok Wan came along) and Tony Hadley (lead singer of 80s band Spandau Ballet) were the first to arrive in the Aussie outback. They had a nice, bonding chat during which Susannah divulged to Tony that her Absolute Phobia was heights.

Big mistake, Susannah. Even bigger than that orange turtle neck dress that woman wore on your show in 2006 before you sorted her out. Because the pair were then pitted against each other as team leaders and Tony went on to nominate Susannah to… jump out of a plane.  

But the real talking point of the evening — Twitter loved this — was when Tony failed to notice Susannah was trying to give him a high five (see above). Her legacy will forever be memes of her raised palm being ignored by a middle-aged man busy thinking of Hollyoaks’ Jorgie Porter earlier saying “I’ll eat willies, I’ll eat anything”.

Now, hands up (not for a high five, don’t worry) if you knew who Lady Colin Campbell was? Yep, only the royal family know who she is, and that’s because they’re scared. But despite having no clue, viewers were totally charmed by her. During the trials, she hovered near(ish) the action and peered over with vague interest, as if she was just a passerby on her way to the Posh Tucker shop. You know when you offer to help with the washing up after a friend’s dinner party, but you have no intention of actually doing it? And you’re pretty certain they’ll say no anyway? That’s Lady C on I’m a Celeb.

But nobody minded, because she described the camp as “rustic” and everyone felt better about the whole Sleeping Outside For Three Weeks thing. The Bush Tucker trial saw the losing Red Team (plus nominated Yellow member Chris Eubank) suspended in boxes metres off the ground while they had thousands of cockroaches poured over them. Chris was so calm in his box that he fell asleep.

Sorry, no he wasn’t asleep, he was just “Zenned out.” Duh.

Jorgie panicked about the bugs, Tony took it all well and Union J’s George, as the show’s yoof representative, said “lol” a lot. The team won ten stars to take back to the camp. And with that, all was peaceful in the jungle.

Well, almost. Until a very bored Duncan Bannatyne terrified everyone by falling asleep WITH HIS EYES OPEN, and was also the first to audibly fart (better out than in as they might say on Dragons’ Den). Also, Jorgie and Lady C found out that next week they face the Disaster-Chef trial and will have to eat an animal foreskin or eye socket or something.

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Lady C will no doubt be most interested to watch as Jorgie tackles that one on her own…