While characters in sitcoms have all kinds of eggs, fresh orange juice, nice bread and pots of coffee on a weekday morning, you might just about manage a thin, slightly mouldy slice of toast and you certainly have no time to talk to anyone. And that’s on a good day.
Sitcom characters fall in love, break up and realise the meaning of life on roofs. But if you tried to climb onto your roof, you’d definitely die. And even if you lived, it’s still full of bird poo and cracked tiles.
People in sitcoms have flats so massive and central that only Kim Kardashian could afford them in real life. Plus, these people don’t even really go to work so it’s even more confusing – whereas you actually work a full day and you still live in a box just about larger than the length of your body.
People in sitcoms, even those who live in city centres, never lock their front door – yet nobody ever breaks in and friends and family just barge through whenever they fancy. You spend about ten minutes bolt locking your door with various keys every single morning and evening.
In sitcoms, people say “cheque please” and it arrives immediately. They never ask for the bill twice, then go up to the waiter to remind them, and then fantasise about leaving without paying…
People in sitcoms just chat to their friends all day in cafes and their bosses never seem to mind. They definitely don’t get sacked for failing to turn up to their job or not officially booking annual leave through their line manager. Work is pretty much optional.
While you crawl around for hours trying to find a space that isn’t a double yellow line or really, really expensive, people in sitcoms just leave their cars anywhere they fancy. Usually you give up, drive home and get the bus instead.
People in sitcoms are always free to visit a baby, whatever time it’s born. And always en masse, with their best friends. Often, they wait all day in the corridor too.
Nobody ever puts a date in the diary, they just show up and hang out. And the person is always home and looking respectable. You would be quite annoyed if your friends and colleagues kept coming round while you were having some alone time with Netflix. There’s a time and a place for socialising.
People spend lots of time getting locked out and then having to scale their block of flats. Yeah, if you tried abseiling down your building you’d be a goner…plus everyone would think you were a burglar and call the police.
Women never seem to have their own clothes in sitcoms, but always put on the man’s striped short or favourite jumper. Especially if it’s a one night stand. They’ll often wear the shirt with only a pair of sexy underwear as they have pancakes in the kitchen. Without worrying that the guy’s flatmates might find this awkward.
Sign up to the Radio Times newsletter for the latest TV and entertainment news