People Just Do Nothing: Grindah’s guide to being a good godfather

The crew of pirate radio station Kurupt FM are back on air on BBC3 tonight - but spinning garage tunes isn't MC Grindah's only responsbility

Last year MC Grindah, DJ Beats and their west London pirate radio station Kurupt FM were the focus of BBC3 documentary series. Fans of the Brentford garage scene will be delighted to know that the entire crew are back for a second series tonight.

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Once again, People Just Do Nothing will lift the lid on the daily grind of spinning tunes – but Grindah has other matters on his mind in the first episode: he must decide who will make the best godfather for his daughter Angel, DJ Beats or Decoy. He shares his tips for aspiring guardians with RadioTimes.com below.


Watch the film

Always a good start. Get a feel for what the role means. To be honest it’s quite long and confusing so maybe just watch the first half or whatever. You’ll get the gist of it. I don’t know why they bother making films that long, no-one’s ever going to watch them. I reckon all films should just be an hour long.

Be generous

Daughters are very expensive so as a Godfather you will have to be prepared to buy stuff. If you haven’t got any money then you’re not going to be any help to anyone. Love is all very well and good, but kids constantly expect you to PROVE your love with loads of things that cost money. If you can’t do that then all your love and dedication is completely irrelevant.

Be fun

Take them to the park, have a food fight, do pranks on the neighbours where you put the little kid outside their bedroom window really late at night so they think it’s a ghost. Keep them entertained. Whatever you do though, keep away from books. For some reason kids love reading the same book over and over again until you literally have to just destroy it in front of their eyes so that they know the answer is “no, we can’t read it again.”

Know how to talk to kids

It’s hard to communicate with kids sometimes ‘cos their brains are much smaller. The way to speak to a kid is really slowly and emphasising every word loudly – basically like how you’d speak to a waiter when you’re on holiday.

Have access to a car

Kids can be quite heavy so it’s useful to have a car so that you can take them places. A moped will do if you don’t have access to a car but obviously in that case you need to be careful about safety – make sure they’re wearing a helmet and that you drive through backstreets and alleyways where possible to avoid busy roads.

Just say “yes”

One thing that a lot of parents do wrong is to constantly moan and try and stop their kids from doing stuff. As a godfather, my advice to you would be let them do whatever they want – they’ll respect you for that and think that you’re way more cool and generally better than anyone else.

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Grindah and the rest of the Kurupt FM crew can be seen in People Just Do Nothing from Wednesday 15th July at 10pm on BBC Three