The TV illuminati might still be trying to convince us that Kit Harington’s Jon Snow died in the Game of Thrones series five finale – but we won’t be fooled.
No matter how many producers or actors confirm his death, how many painfully unconvincing “new film roles” are shamefully pushed out by the slavish media, we know the truth – because Kit Harington’s been spotted at Wimbledon, and he still hasn’t cut his hair.
Truly, a powerful shot has been fired in the war against the insidious plot of pretending Jon Snow is really dead (which he’s totally not) – because as any self-respecting Game of Thrones fan knows, Kit Harington hates his long Jon Snow locks.
“I don’t want the bother of it all really,” he told the Metro back in 2014. “If you look a certain way or you have a certain look it dominates what people think you are. So I’ll cut it off quite soon. As soon as I’m allowed.”
So why hasn’t he? Sure, it could be that he “changed his mind” or “hasn’t got around to it” or even thinks it “might help him be cast in other roles” – but we all know that’s blood magic and nonsense. If you believe that, Kit Harington’s laughing at your credulity. See, look, he’s having a right old guffaw at your expense.
No, the only reason that Harington would remain sweating under those Arctic-appropriate curls beneath the blazing heat of the summer is because he’s still not allowed – BECAUSE Jon Snow’s obviously not dead. Case closed.
The only way we’d be even more sure Jon was coming back was if Harington went ahead and cut all the hair off, which would clearly be a sneaky trick to blindside us from his inevitable series six return in a wig. Classic, sneaky Game of Thrones chicanery – but we’re not falling for it this time or ever.
Game of Thrones will return next year