James Bond’s next mission is conquering Broadway

A stage musical about the spy is in the works

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If you thought the recently-announced OC musical was unlikely, then this news is probably going to leave you shaken (if notstirred) – because James Bond is coming to Broadway.

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Yep, the fans clamouring for a light entertainment adaptation of the alcoholic assassin’s blood-soaked life have finally had their pleas heard, with James Bond: The Musical set to arrive in late 2017.

The news was revealed by Merry Saltzman, the daughter of Bond film producer Harry Saltzman, who said the Bond musical will have an original storyline and “several Bond villains, plus some new ones”.

“Production schedules and trial runs are still being worked out in anticipation of a late 2017-early 2018 opening,” Saltzman told Playbill, adding that the show will also introduce “our own Bond girl” and open on Broadway or in Las Vegas at a venue to be announced.

Sadly there aren’t many more details about what the show might entail, but personally we’re hoping that lyricist and composer Jay Henry Weisz will set a jaunty dance number where Bond shoots multiple enemies through the gut with a harpoon gun, or a lonely ballad as he beats up a man in a dirty bathroom like in Casino Royale.

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Alternatively, a Gilbert-and-Sullivan rattling off of the puns 007 makes while murdering his foes could really hit the spot, alongside a samba-style sexual harassment medley. After all, we do so love a theatre Spectre-cle.