Questions raised by Marvel’s new fashion line

We're a little confused by the comics giant's move into high-class clothing...

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Ever wanted to dress as a superhero but without looking or feeling like one in any way? Then superhero comics publisher Marvel has the clothing line for you.

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Marvel have teamed up with men’s fashion site Five Four Club to create a line of clothes that are described as “elevated and confident men’s apparel capsule collections that bring together Marvel’s iconic legacy, Super Hero characters and storytelling with fashion-forward innovation”.

In other words, you can dress like Robert Downey Jr’s Tony Stark when he’s Regular Man rather than Iron Man – surely the dream for every budding weapons-dealer and heart patient.

But we still have one or two queries about the new look for the fashion-conscious and nerdy…


Why can’t you dress as Spider-Man?

Sadly, Marvel don’t seem keen to manufacture the high-end all-in-one Spidey suit the market is crying out for – but on the plus side, their suits aren’t all business…


Can the clothes be used to evade rival spies?

It sure looks like they can – if they’re looking for a guy in a checkered shirt, they’ll NEVER find a guy in a different checkered shirt. Or wearing a hood.


Why CAN’T you dress as Spider-Man?

I mean, what are they afraid of? Their customers having too much joy in their lives? Although I suppose this is a line for grown-ups. Grown-ups who like zips.


Actually, do these outfits have enough zips?

They could probably use a couple more, now we think about it.


Do they come with combat-ready/heat-resistant hats?

The accessories look pretty great here. Never leave home in your new glad rags without a WW2 helmet, a hockey mask or welding gear, we always say.


But are the clothes patriotic enough?

Definitely needs more eagles #America


WHY CAN’T YOU DRESS AS SPIDER-MAN?!?!

In fairness, no-one’s stopping us from wearing the webbed wonder’s unmentionables under our new Marvel suit/checked shirt/zip installation. Except common sense, societal mores and our own creeping sense of shame, of course…

Read more:

Hugh Jackman to leave Wolverine role

Ryan Reynolds: Deadpool what we know so far

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Can you name the terrible superhero?