7 things people do on TV that would be weird in real life
From never looking at the road when behind the wheel to hanging up the phone without saying goodbye...
Our favourite TV characters are a little like friends. We admire them and empathise with them, or want to date them, dress like them or be them. They feel like living, breathing people, just people you can only hang out with by pressing buttons on a remote.
Really, though, they get up to a whole lot of strange things. Behaviour that would just be plain weird in the real world. Those people in TV land are always...
1. Hanging up without saying goodbye
Nearly all TV shows, from light hearted sitcoms to political thrillers, have one thing in common: no one says goodbye before hanging up the phone. What if the other person doesn’t know you’ve decided to end the conversation? They could still be chatting away, especially if you slowly put down the receiver looking perplexed, troubled or intensely thoughtful. It’s just rude. And misleading. Children could be watching these shows thinking that’s how adults use their phones, when the reality is more like:
A: Okay, I’ve got to go.
B: Right, okay. Me too, really.
A: Okay then. Speak soon.
B: Yeah. I’ll call you later.
A: Right. Bye then.
B: Bye.
A: Oh, did you buy any dishwasher tablets?
B: Erm, no. Can you? Will you go past a shop on your way home?
A: Yeah, sure.
B: Great.
A: Cool. Bye then.
B: Bye.
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2. Never finishing a drink
Not only do TV characters sip from mainly empty cups (something real people, like, hardly ever do), they are incapable of finishing a drink. They'll order a large pinot noir, pay, have one sip and then say, 'I've got to get going.' They'll go to a friend's house. Their friend will get out the good coffee cups and make a cafetiere of the good stuff. Perhaps they'll meet their boss for a chilled beer after work. Either way, someone will take one swig and then put it down forever. What a waste.
3. Arranging dates without specifying when or where
TV dramas are full of casual dinners and drinks. A little flirting and a few fluttered eyelashes often lead to a proposed date, where one of the parties says “I’ll pick you up later” before striding away.
But from where? And at what time? How do they know where to pick their date up from? Will the one being picked up just be sat by their front door all dolled up between the hours of 5pm and 9pm just in case? Will the dater have to frantically contact the date-ee to find out where they live?
4. Standing still during arguments
In real life, arguments just don’t end like this. If you’re fighting with your significant other/housemate/mum and they walk off, you don’t just stand there rooted to the spot yelling their name at the top of your voice. Do you? You walk after them, right? You finish the argument.
Just, walk after Trixie, Tom! MOVE, dammit. Nonnatus House is only a couple of metres away.
5. Being insanely articulate about their inner emotional turmoil
People say anger isn't a real emotion, that it's always a front for another feeling. But when it comes to our emotions most of us aren't that articulate. We feel stuff, sure, but we couldn't explain exactly what or how, and why it's making us behave in such a strange or irrational way. For plenty of characters in TV land, emotional ignorance isn't an issue, though...
“Wouldn’t it suck if you didn’t help me. If you went through all that training to become a big doctor, came up with the plan, did my operation. You did it just right, just perfect. You made me so I could walk again, but I didn’t. Wouldn’t you feel helpless? Like nothing matters. No matter how much you care, how hard you try, how badly you want something, you’ll never have it. Because everything is totally out of your control. Feel that?” said a 13-year-old girl on Grey's Anatomy once. Exactly.
6. Driving without looking at the road
Driving a car is a difficult business. You've got to have hours of lessons and take two tests before you're allowed on the road, but not so for TV characters who manage to make it look easy, all without actually paying attention to the road they are driving on. They spend a dangerously long time looking at the person in the passenger seat and not facing forward. Sometimes it's on purpose to warn us that some sort of near-miss or horrific traffic accident is mere moments away, but more often than not that's just their driving style...
7. Lighting fires really easily
I know this isn't technically a TV show, but it's not the only example and THIS IS NOT HOW YOU LIGHT A FIRE. Turning sticks, logs, newspaper and half a box of premium firelighters into a source of heat takes time, patience and dedication. It's never this easy, and you almost always end up with ash all over your face.
