Comic Relief Bake Off: David Mitchell’s deliciously honest thoughts about baking

“Oh no, sieving something into a bowl, you’ll wish you were dead…”

In tonight’s episode of The Great Comic Relief Bake Off, David Mitchell entered the tent in a whirlwind of flour, sugar and existential angst. The Peep Show comic was up for having a bash at baking – it’s for charity after all – but he was characteristically frank about its challenges.

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Sieving was top of his list of bugbears…

“Why do you have to sift it?”

Is there really a purpose?

“Why can’t you just put it in normally?”

His equipment must have been at fault:

“Have I chosen the wrong sieve?”

He admitted to being caught off guard:

“I didn’t come into this thinking, ‘Oh the sieving will be a nightmare’. I thought the difficult things in cooking were when you, like, flambéed stuff.”

Then came over a bit melodramatic…

“Oh no, sieving something into a bowl, you’ll wish you were dead…”

Then he spied a symbol of sorrow and it was all over…

“Oh and now I’ve seen a single magpie. That’s perfect.”

Well, not quite. With one minute to go until Mary and Paul sampled his shortbread, he was hoping for a reprieve:

“Have I got time to start again?”

At least he was super-confident about his homemade jam…

“That’s not jam; that’s strawberries in goo.”

The technical pork pie challenge raised issues seemingly only a superhero could solve:

“It says ‘until cooked through’. Can’t tell, no X-Ray vision…”

But he had a plan in the shape of fellow competitor, former PM’s wife Sarah Brown:

“My technique is to copy Sarah, as I think she knows how to cook things.”

Although she may have to flee his monster meringue…

“It’s gone massively tall. I may have to dismantle the whole kitchen to get it out.”

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The Great Comic Relief Bake Off continues on Wednesdays at 8pm on BBC1