There was one thing protecting humanity from the octopus – while the tentacled terrors ruled beneath the ocean, we still had the advantage on dry land. But no more.
I’ll say that again: an octopus springs out of the water, grabs a peaceful crustacean and, after some brief moments of grappling, pulls it into the briny depths.
Hug your children close. They’ve started with crabs, but soon the insidious invertebrates will come for us all, ink in our eyes, suckers down our throats. It’s only a matter of time.