Celebrity Big Brother blog: Ken no Morley, Bananagate and Queen Cami Li

"When you're a dozen celebrities trapped in a white collar prison, the theft of a couple of pieces of fruit can take on epic proportions..."

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Adding ‘gate’ to the end of a word used to mean something. So Bananagate must have had Richard Nixon turning in his grave. But as Alicia Douvall discovered, when you’re a dozen celebrities trapped in a white collar prison, the theft of a couple of pieces of fruit can take on epic proportions (a bit like the bananas themselves which, it has to be said, were bloody enormous).

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At least half of Tuesday night’s highlights show was spent on the bananas – Alicia stealing them and hiding them in the bedroom; Katie Hopkins’s brilliant plan to smoke her out using an impromptu stock take and a fake air of puzzlement; Alicia’s sheepish returning of the offending fruit and her attempts to act innocent; and Cami Li’s refusal to drop the issue, like a dog with a… banana.

But after Big Brother’s overnight removal of Ken Morley from the house it was nice to go back to BB basics and focus on something mundane and petty like fruit thievery.

Of course, the rotund (if not particularly long) shadow of Ken continued to loom over the house for a while after his departure. Perez in particular was keen to make sure everyone knew how he felt about “the sorry demise of a raving lunatic”.

Apparently, “the word doesn’t exist” to describe exactly how relieved Perez was about the lancing of Ken’s “toxicity” so he did his best to express it through performance art – sobbing with his hat pulled over his eyes, lying in the bedroom alone (except for the cameras and two million viewers) repeating “thank you, thank you, thank you”, and wandering around clutching a statue of a hare (possible a reference to the spring-like renewal brought on by Ken’s departure).

But brave little soldier that he is, Perez was soon up and about defending us from Katie’s attempts to make CBB “The Katie Hopkins Show”, when clearly it should be The Perez Hilton Show.

With two housemates having already been ejected, the live eviction was cancelled. Instead, Big Brother came up with a novel way of choosing the first of the celebs to be put up next time. One by one they each picked a fellow housemate to save, with Keith landing the task of choosing between the final two, Chloe and Cami Li.

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Cami was that sad kid who didn’t get picked for school sports, but Big Brother’s ‘twisted fairytale’ theme turned the tables and instead crowned her Queen of the Fairies. The housemates will now be forced to wait on Cami hand-and-foot – presumably starting with Alicia feeding her bananas.