It’s a thin line between love and hate, and on the internet, they’re more or less the same thing. You don’t get to 50 years without picking up a few bad habits, and part of being a Doctor Who fan is sometimes getting furious. Here are ten things that turn Whovians into angry Daleks.
1. “Hello Doctor Who, how are you?”
“DOCTOR WHO IS NOT HIS NAME. DOC-TOR WHO IS THE NAME OF THE PROGRAMME. EXCEPT IN THE ORIGINAL SERIES. AND PE-TER CAPALDI STILL CALLS HIM DOCTOR WHO.”
2. “Doctor Who is a kids show”
“DOCTOR WHO IS A FAMILY SHOW, NOT A CHILDREN’S SHOW. EVERYONE CAN ENJOY IT TOGETHER. OR ALONE. TOTALLY A-LONE.”
3. “The sets wobble”
“DOCTOR WHO’S PRODUCTION VALUES ARE INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM A HOLLYWOOD BLOCKBUSTER.”
4. Continuity and paradoxes
“THE DOCTOR FROM THE FUTURE GAVE HIMSELF THE SCREWDRIVER? BUT WHO GAVE THE FUTURE DOCTOR THE SCREWDRIVER? DO NOT SAY WIBBLY-WOBBLY OR I WILL EXTERMINATE YOU.“
5. Hanky panky with Companions
“THE DOCTOR IS AN ALIEN, WHY WOULD HE FANCY HUMANS? IT’S LIKE KISSING YOUR CAT. YOUR CAT WHO LOOKS LIKE KA-REN GILL-AN.”
6. Not being able to hear the dialogue
“WHAT? PARDON?THE MUSIC IS TOO LOUD.”
7. “I’m a real Whovian. My favourite is Smith/Tennant/Baker.”
“YOU ARE NOT A REAL FAAAA-AN. YOU WERE NOT THERE AT THE BEGINNING. IT’S HARTNELL OR NOTHING.”
8. Reset buttons to wrap up the story
“YOU ARE TOO LATE DOC-TOR. YOUR FRIENDS ARE DEAD. YOUR TARDIS DESTROYED. WE ARE VICTOR…WAIT. STOP. DO NOT TOUCH THAT BUTTON. THAT LARGE RED RESET BUTTON DOES NOT CONCERN YOU!”
“DO NOT TWEET THE END-ING. I HAVE NOT SEEN IT.
I HAVE NOW SEEN IT.
I MUST TWEET THE END-ING.”
10. Doctor Who in general
“I HATE YOU BUT I LOVE YOU SO. THIS IS A PARADOX. EXPLAIN! EXPLAIN!”
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