The Only Way is Insult: The definitive TOWIE guide to putting people down

Have you got a feud to settle or an axe to grind but you're bored of the same old comebacks? Well, never fear because we've compiled the best insults from The Only Way Is Essex for all your anger requirements

The Only Way is Essex has only just returned to our screens and the cast seems to be setting a world record for slanging matches. While most of the insults are nonsensical, garbled and strange, they definitely pack a punch. So we’ve compiled the top TOWIE insolence for you to use next time you’re lost for a cutting remark…


1) Choose a kids drink you used to have in your lunchbox and stick it on the end of a swear word

“You pair of f**king Capri Suns”

2) Take a classic insult and change it to make it more hard-hitting

“You can roll a turd in diamonds but it’s still a turd”

3) Make it seem like you’re saying something nice, then pause….wait for it…and say something sassy and sharp

“I want to forgive you… and I want to forget you”

Just say it with a look. Go on, practice this now. 

4) If you say ‘proper’ with enough venom, any word that you use next will sound insulting

“You’re a proper lunch box”

5) Be specific

“Go and sell cars in Colliers Road” 

6) If you want to soften your accusation, just put “I feel” before being rude

“I don’t feel like you’ve been a really good friend to me”


 “I feel like I don’t trust you”

7) If things don’t make sense, they cut deeper

“You’re well boring me out”

6) See no. 6

Get on your broomstick and fly back to Chigwell”

8)  Or forget all that and go back to basics 


Or like this…