After last week’s not-so-shocking revelation that Alex Mytton had, indeed, cheated on his girlfriend Binky there’s only one place we were ever going to find him. Gazing out wistfully on the Thames from Chelsea Embankment, of course – the spot where every Made in Chelsea cast member heads to ruminate on their troubles.
Meanwhile, the start of tonight’s episode saw his better half packing her bags and bolting to New York with her mother and sister (if only we could all afford to escape our problems by hopping on a plane, eh?)
In her absence, the girls took pleasure in giving Alex a full character assassination. “You don’t forget about putting your dick in someone’s vagina,” declared Lucy Watson in typically delicate fashion.
But while the girls were none-too-pleased with Alex’s behaviour, the boys were closing ranks – and that included Jamie throwing accusations at poor Stevie for not giving his boiii the heads up on Cheska’s bombshell. Don’t you know there’s a “difference between bro code and being-a-dick code,”? Thanks Stevie, we couldn’t have put that better ourselves.
Unfortunately for Binks, Alex – yet again – chose to listen to the terrible wisdom of Mr Laing. Bad move. “If he doesn’t want to be with her, this is his ticket out of the relationship,” he kept announcing, before informing Alex, “I think you need to not be in this relationship.” (For the record, we were throwing daggers at our screen at this point).
And *sob* it worked. When Alex and Binky were finally reunited at the end of the episode, instead of grovelling for her forgiveness, he informed his girlfriend: “I think the best thing for you is not to be with you.” (FYI, boys – most annoying sentence EVER). Poor Binks was so shocked she replaced her tears with plenty of expletives:
“I don’t give a s**t about the bottom of your f**king heart. You f**ked someone else and now you’re dumping me. You’re completely f**king me over. You’re a real coward. You have completely broken my heart.”
And that was that – the demise of yet another Chelsea romance. Or is it…? Next week’s trailer does, tantalisingly, see a wise Proudlock telling Alex to “fight for her”. Do you think he should?
Made in Chelsea continues next Monday at 10:00pm on E4