Why do we still know almost nothing about Star Wars Episode VII?

An open letter to director JJ Abrams...

Dear JJ Abrams, 


This is getting silly. It’s been nearly EIGHTEEN months since Star Wars Episode VII was first announced. In that time we could have had two babies, run 2,921 marathons and written 61 Star Wars articles (we actually did that last one).

And while you’ve no doubt been busy behind the scenes, we haven’t heard a peep out of you. Not one single, measly, little casting announcement. You won’t even tell us whether Mark Hamill is to swish his light saber or if Carrie Fisher will be rocking those plaits again. The actors themselves may have let slip, but you continue to remain tight-lipped. Why, JJ, why?

Oh, we’ve been taunted and teased a-plenty. Whether it’s Adam Driver’s hotly rumoured turn as a villain or the unlikely speculation that Zac Efron will be stepping into the lead role. We’ve been tantalised by whisperings of Benedict Cumberbatch and Matt Smith and concerned by the sneaky suspicion that Downton’s Ed Speleers could be involved. 

A “what we know so far” list is something of a joke, to be honest with you, JJ. We know Episode VII will take place 30 years after 1983’s Return of the Jedi. We know R2D2 is back. We know the new film will star “a trio of new young leads” and a new villain. But you’ve given us little else.

And then over the weekend came the news that you’re already filming. Frankly, it’s getting a bit ridiculous. How much longer are you planning on keeping details of your mammoth cast a secret, JJ? Is it fair on the fans to keep them so shrouded in darkness? When will we know?

I eagerly await your response to this matter.

Your sincerely,