Ant and Dec are going to be back on our screens. Celebrities are going to be forced to eat parts of animals I’ve never even thought about. There’s going to be a whole lot of bickering around the campfire as bosses ensure another rowdy collection of unhappy campers are forced together… frankly it’s a wonder this show isn’t on all year round.
But what more specific predictions can we make about this collection of I’m A Celebers? Well, according to the bookies, Joey Essex is the favourite to win before he’s even stepped (shirtless, obvs) into the jungle. He’s also most likely to be chucked into numerous bushtucker trials. It’s OK, he’ll probably think the whole thing is ‘Reem’. Just as long as his tan doesn’t run…
Let’s not forget, fellow TOWIE star Mark Wright was runner-up in 2011 – I’m expecting good things from Joey. And some brilliant new catchphrases.
Ironically, Olympic swimming star Rebecca Adlington is widely expected to be the first act to turn on the water works, but I’d put my money on Matthew Wright. The presenter has already admitted he’s going to be up there with Paul Burrell and Dean Gaffney on the emotion front – and is so terrified of spiders he tried to get professional anti-arachnaphobia therapy before he left for Australia. There’ll be floods of tears so extreme, the other celebs will be able to strip down to their swimwear and take a shower.
I am really rather hoping for some frank remarks from EastEnders star Laila Morse and can imagine Big Mo will tell the young whippersnappers a thing or two about being on the telly.
Emmerdale’s Lucy Pargeter is a self-confessed boredom phobe, so is bound to ruffle Laila’s feathers with her busy-bodying around the camp.
There’re also bound to be keen chefs among the camp. I’m rather hoping there will be a jungle bromance and have a harmonious kitchen set up. “Be a love and pass the kangaroo tail would you David?”… that kind of thing.
I think model Amy Willerton could be this year’s surprise. I’m putting her firmly in the same mould as former Pussycat Doll Ashley Roberts from last year’s show. She’s going to look hot in a bikini, there’s no denying that. She’s not a Miss Universe competitor for nothing. But I think there’s more to her than that. After all, her only phobia is china dolls, and unless someone has planned a very elaborate trick, there shouldn’t be too many of those around the camp.
Kian Egan is the biggest question mark for me. I’d like to see the former Westlife star get up and sing Tom Jones’s “It’s Not Unusual” (perhaps encouraging Alfonso Ribeiro to bust out the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air ‘Carlton Dance’ he’s so loved for). But I wonder if Kian will keep his head down somewhat?
The celebs start their adventure this Sunday. Let’s get ready to jungle….
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