Great British Bake Off week eight: Paul Hollywood’s fiercest quotes

Bland, dry, poor... Paul Hollywood dished out the harsh comments on last night's bakes


Blimey, last night’s Bake Off got tough. Even hosts Sue Perkins and Mel Giedroyc picked Paul Hollywood and Mary Berry up on their tough judging. 


Paul wasn’t cutting anyone a break, drilling into the bakers with his no-nonsense critique. You could almost hear their confidence snap. A bit like a well baked bread stick (eh, Paul? Paul? No. He’s not laughing).  

Indeed, for a tent where they could sprinkle a bit of sugar on everything it certainly wasn’t all sweetness and light. Paul said of the 3D cake challenge “It’s the quarter finals going into the semi-finals, you have to be honest with them. We praised where praise was needed and we were critical where criticism had to be placed.”

And boy was criticism placed… 

Paul Hollywood in warning mode: “You’ve got to get the texture right. It’s going to be difficult.”

Paul’s ability to shock knows no bounds: “The texture’s all wrong because it’s too dry inside.” Kimberley: “Dry?!” 

Last minute cake DIY wasn’t enough to save Christine from Paul’s quick description: “It’s a mess around the side”. 

Feelings? Whose feelings? “This meringue looks pretty poor, actually.”

Frances’ hidden carrot cake looked so splendid Sue and Mel gasped… Paul declared: “The middle of that cake – the carrot is dry.” 

And he went on… “It’s moist, but you couldn’t have more than a thimble full.”

Landing the final blow: “On this occasion style and substance may come into play again.” 

Cutting to the chase with Beca: “It has no flavour.”

Yep, no flavour. We got it. Oh wait, there’s more. “It’s just bland all the way through.” Great, yeah… 

Thank goodness, then, for Sue Perkins… 

The Great British Bake Off continues next Tuesday at 8:00pm, BBC2