In the 14th century, courting was a rather circumspect business characterised by chasteness, subtlety and ostentatious displays of chivalry, which obliged a prospective couple to engage in months and months of dewy-eyed wooing before exchanging even so much as a kiss.
But nowadays people do things rather differently, as evinced by Melanie Sykes, 42, and 26-year-old toyboy beau Jack Cockings, the two Twitter lovebirds who’ve put the tin hat on their four-month long romance by getting engaged.
Fittingly, Sykes announced her impending marriage to Cockings on the microblogging site earlier this week, writing: “To my beautiful twitter friends just want to let you know that me &Jack @bespokespartan are engaged to be married and we are very giddy xxxx”
In case you thought that was too good to be true, today they’ve been pictured out and about with Mel flashing her engagement ring.
Aw. Well, isn’t that nice?
Indeed, it’s a charming end to a heart-warming modern-day love story that makes Romeo and Juliet’s affair look like the nothing more than fumblings of two amateurs by comparison.
Their tale began when Cockings reached out to Sykes via a message on Twitter back in April, and the two began exchanging missives of an altogether raunchier nature shortly afterwards. Unable to deny themselves for too long, the couple met up in May and eventually came to realise that they, in fact, belonged together.
Highlights of their star-crossed affair, which played out before the public (presumably because neither Sykes nor Cockins had spotted the site’s ‘direct message’ button), included the 26-year-old Dorset roofer informing the world that he was “tweeting while hanging out the back of @MsMelanieSykesxxx”, to which her response was “Get off your phone and concentrate!”
As well as exchanging pictures of each other which displayed their mutual antipathy for clothing and would have had Mary Whitehouse reaching for the smelling salts, Sykes rejoiced at Cockings’ apparently limitless reservoir of libido in another tweet, which read: “Get off twitter and get back in bed! You are insatiable! I love it! X”
And now that they’ve recovered sufficiently from their canoodlings, the couple are due to be wed next May.
Which just goes to show, fellas, that with a tweet, some persistence and a willingness to shed your clobber in front of a webcam, you too could end up wooing, loving and indeed marrying the celebrity crush of your dreams. If only Sir Gawain had owned a smartphone, eh?