Oh, you lucky, lucky people – CBB winner and professional cagefighter Alex Reid is releasing a pop single! His new track, titled Stardust – a “celebration” of his love for fiancée Chantelle Houghton – features such inspired lyrics as “I am sunblind you shine so bright/All I see is all I need/You’re everything I want to believe”. And if you think that’s entertaining, wait till you watch the video…
Bless him, he really does try his very best to win us over with everything from louty warbles to boxercise-come-dad-dancing. Sadly, the resounding response to this solo effort seems to have been a big thumbs down.
But let’s give poor Alex a break – branching off from reality TV into the cutthroat world of pop is no mean feat. Oh, it can be done alright, but it doesn’t half take something special. Don’t believe us? Well just ask…
Jessica Wright – Dance All Night (The Only Way is Essex 2012)
TOWIE’s Jessica Wright is set to release her first solo single Dance All Night later this summer, and while the tune itself sounds exactly like every song you’ve ever heard in a gym, it’s nice to see her branching out from the ITV2 reality show. Mark’s little sister is making a serious go of this music lark – she’s signed a three-single deal with All Around the World Records and the video for the track was filmed in Marbella and everything…
Nadia Almada – A Little Bit of Action (Big Brother 2004)
This catchy Latin-tinged house ditty by Nadia Almada reached number 27 in the UK charts following the transgender housemate’s victory on series five of Big Brother in 2004. It was the start of a career that took in game show appearances, more Big Brother work and a Channel 5 reality series Trust Me… I’m a Holiday Rep, reaching its pinnacle when Nadia was handed the honour of turning on the Christmas lights in Hollyoaks. Dreams can come true.
Peter Andre – Insania (I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! 2004)
I know what you’re thinking: Peter Andre was already a huge star when he went on I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here!, having had a single in the top ten a mere six years previously.
True. But if it hadn’t been for the loopiness caused by sitting around that collection of rocks and sticks they call a camp, eating insects and talking to Katie Price, Andre might never have invented the word Insania, let alone penned the song (and then where would we be?)
Chanelle Hayes – I Want It (Big Brother 2007)
Poundland’s answer to Victoria Beckham not only released her debut single in 2008, but also turned the recording and marketing of said record into a new VH1 reality TV show for her to front. Despite all this hype and publicity, I Want It, a vocoder-driven Christina Aguilera knock-off, stiffed at number 63 in the UK charts, though apparently it did quite well in Russia.
NOTE: Young viewers should steer clear of this rather steamy video.
The TOWIE Cast – White Christmas (The Only Way is Essex 2011)
Jess first got a taste for pop stardom when the cast of TOWIE released a cover of Wham!’s Last Christmas, erm, last Christmas. Alas, this charidee version of the festive favourite made it no higher than number 33 in the charts – not exactly a turkey but certainly no Christmas cracker.
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