Teleprompt: Really

They've bought the rights to Ellen, The OC and Grey's Anatomy, but what are Really all about?

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Hey, have you seen all those pop art ads on the tube lately? Is Andy Warhol in town or something?

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Nope, they’re ads for Really, the station that rose phoenix-like from the ashes of UKTV Gardens.

Really?

Very good, well done. Yes, the channel’s undergoing a bit of a renaissance at the moment, hence all these spotty-faced ladies on the underground.

So, what, is it an art channel?

Nope, although some of the people on Snog, Marry, Avoid? look like they’ve been using their bodies as canvasses. It’s a real-life sort of station; a kind of BBC version of Sky Living. Think of it as the Experience bits of the Sunday supplements come to life before your very eyes.

I will. So, what sort of stuff does it show?

It’s a heady mixture of alarmingly titled BBC3 documentaries and reality stuff culled from other networks, plus US shows they’ve bought in, like Tool Academy and Bridezillas.

So it’s mainly repeats?

Well, yes, at the moment. Though with BBC3 canning a lot of its more sensational reality strands, Really will soon be the only place you can wallow in programmes about fake tan-slathered headcases and boob job nightmares.Well, apart from Living.

And we all love doing that, right?

Yep, hence the channel’s switch of focus from rhododendron bushes to vajazzling. Also, UKTV’s had such success with their lads’ channel, Dave, that it makes sense for them to try to corner the female market, too…

But isn’t it buried away in the recesses of the Sky EPG?

Not any more. Really’s recently made the leap to Freeview, taking Dave ja vu’s spot, which proves that the channel’s a genuine concern for the folks at UKTV.

Do you think they’ll start producing their own programmes soon?

Hard to say, but their website’s full of original articles about sex, relationships, horoscopes and real-life stuff, so they’re clearly building up the Really “brand”. And with the channel buying in The OC, maybe they’re starting to branch out.

Aha, so they might get some programmes about art after all, then?

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Yes, perhaps. But probably not about Warhol, unless the network puts out a series about great wig-wearers of our time. Which would make for a good evening’s viewing…