Hang on a minute…Seven Dwarves?
Rather than being a dramatisation of everyone’s favourite fairy tale, this Seven Dwarves falls into the elusive reality genre. It is quite literally seven dwarves. Yep, seven little people who have all been thrown in a house together during what can only be described as the biggest event in the small world – panto season.
You see, they all have one thing in common – these guys are all grade A artistes, and performers by trade. Every single one of them was in the latest Harry Potter film and the series follows them as they prepare to perform in yep, you guessed it, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
They are here to prove that while they may be small, they have big talent.
A dwarf Big Brother? Sounds dodgy – surely this cannot fit in the realms of good taste?
Yes, at first this all instinctively feels very wrong but despite its initial suspect premise and dodgy publicity banners, which show seven heads straining to reach over the page, Channel 4 has done surprisingly well to make this more about giving an honest look at dwarf actors and less about tittering as they try to reach the top cupboard.
After all, we see them in all sorts of films and adverts so it’s about time we meet them for real, or at least as part of a constructed reality TV format, anyway.
Karen, or Blusher as she is known in the show, says: “We wouldn’t have done it if we felt it was going to be all about laughing at us and making us feel like a circus act. We’ve seen the first few episodes and it shows us just as what we are, normal people.”
Karen adds: “It’s opened doors for us. I’ve played a raccoon in a Kinder chocolate advert in Italy, as well as a bear in another one in Spain.”
So apart from Karen, who else is in it?
There’s Josh, whose claim to fame is that his grandad was an ewok in Star Wars. He admits sometimes the panto lot can be a tough crowd: “It’s always the bigger women that tend to grab me, and swing me around and shove my head in their breasts.”
When he’s not performing on stage or being accosted by stacked women, Josh moonlights as a stag party host. He is hired to handcuff himself to the stag for the evening imaginatively dressed up as Dr Evil or, sometimes, an Oompa Loompa.
Josh reckons this is an ace job, and he has a great time. The only thing he hates is when people think they can pick him up. OK, things are suddenly starting to feel a tad on the wrong side again…
Let’s move on. So what about when the series finishes?
As Max Laird, aka Grumbly, says: “I can do it until I retire, it’s not like I’m going to grow,” and many of the others have upcoming work in films like Snow White and the Huntsman.
However, the cast are tipped to become huge stars in their own right once the show kicks off, meaning Josh might be able to hang up his handcuffs once and for all.
This definitely sounds like something I have to see for myself – when’s it on?
Seven Dwarfs, Tuesdays at 9pm, Channel 4.