Rough Cuts reads today in the ever-reliable Daily Star that Big Brother’s producers are planning to provide the programme’s participants with access to a 24-hour bar “so contestants can let their spirits run free”.
Ethyl alcohol has played no small part in Big Brother history, surging rivers of drink having broken the moral dams of past housemates, including Michelle Bass, Stuart Wilson, Jade Goody and, most infamously, Kinga Karolczack, who was so sloshed she completely missed her mouth with a wine bottle.
But admission to this televised lock-in will be conditional. The show’s makers will apparently only grant housemates round-the-clock bar access if they make “great telly”. If they don’t, Sir’ll confiscate their booze and make them do lines (not class A drugs, you understand – a punishment).
The paper goes on to reveal that “one plan is to put the willies up the celebs”, which appears to say it all, though the producers mean that they propose to punish rule-breakers with “special supernatural torture frights” at night. That being the plan, Rough Cuts sincerely hopes the show’s new intake doesn’t include anyone as aged as Ken Russell…
And while new host Brian Dowling has been quoted in other areas of the press as wanting to “clean up” the returning reality series, if today’s Star report is to be believed, the show’s bosses appear to have other ideas:
“Fans don’t want to see a bunch of people sitting around being boring. They want to see them getting drunk so they get randy, go bedhopping and let slip some of their sauciest secrets.”
Well, indeed. Roll on 18 August, says Rough Cuts.