The Pitch: The Smallest Room

Here's hoping BBC4 will snap up this landmark documentary series idea...


Working title: The Smallest Room


Alternative title: The Secret Life of Lavatories

Suggested channel: BBC4

Target audience: High-minded human waste enthusiasts/general viewing

Suggested time slot: 9pm–10pm

The lavatory certainly has an important place in the hearts of the British people, but it’s still easy to forget that on average* we spend more than 40 per cent of our lives sitting on the throne. So, just how much do you know about what goes on in the smallest room in the house?

Presented by Sir Salman Rushdie, this fascinating BBC4 documentary will take both lavatory aficionados and casual toilet enthusiasts alike on an intellectual journey charting the evolution of human faecal waste management.

From the earliest hole in the ground dug by Neanderthal man to the temperature controlled seats of ultra-modern flushable water closets, every lavatory, and its contents, has a story to tell.

What secret lurked beneath Henry VIII’s bedpan, why would Napoleon Bonaparte only “unload” at sea, and what brand of toilet paper do the royal household favour?

With unprecedented access to the private lavatories of some of Britain’s biggest stars, the programme will also examine “the celebrities behind the splash” and attempt to finally answer a question that has troubled philosophers and thinkers since the beginning of time; can we ever truly live in a classless lavatorial society?

Shot in glorious HD, this six-part landmark series will change the way you think about the smallest room in the house, and its users, for ever.


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