Setting the scene: In Channel 4’s latest infotainment offering, members of the public tout items of interest to four dealers of art and artefacts. The sellers must decide who to approach first – knowing that if they turn down an offer and leave the dealer’s room it’s gone forever.
In last night’s episode, the man chasing top dollar for a one-off Tracey Emin print was none other than the artist’s twin brother, Paul.
After the usual haggling – “What do you want for it?” What are you offering?” “This much.” “More.” “This much?” “OK” – Paul accepted £2,300 from dealer Gordon Watson for Mrs Edwards We Wish You Were Dead, a personal tirade against a former school dinner lady Tracey and Paul “didn’t particularly get on with.”
Back outside the bidding rooms, Paul prepared to discover what he could have won, as the remaining dealers revealed their best offers.
Cat-faced curiosity addict Emma Hawkins would have gone as high as £3,000, “due to the family connection.” Another 30 per cent: that had to sting a little.
But what about crazy-eyed, scarf-wearing, gambling obsessive Jeff Salmon? What would you have offered, Jeff?
“I would’ve paid 12 thousand pounds – might have hit 13, might have hit 13…”
Oooooh! That’s got to hurt! Paul’s trip to Thailand could’ve been a five-star affair, complete with room service and chambermaid. Instead, it looks like Tracey Emin’s brother will be making his own bed each morning.