Desperation, Desperation, Desperation: where next for Phil and Kirstie?

Phil and Kirstie are off on holiday in their new series Vacation, Vacation, Vacation. But where will they go after that..?

Location, Location, Location hosts Phil Spencer and Kirstie Allsopp are off on holiday in their new Channel 4 series Vacation, Vacation, Vacation. But where will they go after that..?


Domination, Domination, Domination
Phil and Kirstie’s sadomasochistic relationship is taken to the next level in a late-night slot on a subscription-only channel. If Phil thinks he’s getting away with just a slap for being cheeky on this show, he’s got another thing coming as Kirstie unleashes the dominatrix within.

Inebriation, Inebriation, Inebriation (alternative title: Phil ‘n Thirsty)
The best bit of Location, Location, Location is the cosy pint Phil and the prospective buyers enjoy after a hard day’s viewing. Here, we cut out the house-hunting altogether and just go straight down the pub, the second half of the show mostly focusing on Phil making drunken crank calls to estate agents.

Procrastination, Procrastination, Procrastination
All those picky couples from Location who clearly never had any intention of purchasing a house are invited back and shown round homes purpose-built to their supposed requirements. Who can come up with the most creative reasons not to buy them?

Re-relocation, Re-relocation
The people from Relocation, Relocation change their minds.

The Apprentice
After Kirstie’s infamous Twitter spats with Alan Sugar, the producers of The Apprentice decide making her his new female aide will add spice to a tiring format. Forget the boardroom battles between the candidates – they won’t get a word in edgeways as the Lord of the East End locks horns with the sweary, slap-happy head girl.

Kirstie’s Home-made Kirstie
Following on from her Home-made Home series, Kirstie’s step-by-step guide to fashioning your very own life-sized Kirstie entirely from chintz.

Relocation: Phil Down and Out
In Relocation: Phil Down Under, Phil Spencer helped families emigrating to Australia find their perfect homes. Next year, following another house price crash, Phil will be looking for somewhere of his own from among the most sought-after doorways and cash points in town.


What other shows could Phil and Kirstie front? Post a comment below and share your ideas.