Fifty Shades Freed

You might get more bonk for your buck in this extended version, but this is still a lacklustre final dollop of EL James's soft-core kinkfest that sees Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson reprising their roles as still-pervy billionaire Christian Grey and ex-ingénue Anastasia. The couple are now married but finding wedded bliss beset by Christian's possessiveness, Ana's psycho ex-boss, a bombshell revelation, and Christian's rendition of a Beatles song. Like the first two films, this is slick, glossy, rather silly stuff - and about as gripping as a pair of Christian's designer handcuffs. It's a must-see for Fifty Shades completists, but utterly inconsequential for those who have either fallen by the franchise wayside, or who never trod its path in the first place.