GI Joe: Retaliation

This all-action, no-plot adventure picks up on the "to be continued" conclusion of GI Joe: the Rise of Cobra, and sees evil organisation Cobra frame the GI Joes for crimes they didn't commit and then sit back as the team is wiped out. With Dwayne Johnson leading the surviving soldiers, aided by the original GI Joe (played by Bruce Willis on sleep-walking leave from The Expendables), they seek to clear their names and halt Cobra's surge to world domination. An indigestible stew of cheesy one-liners, perfunctory military battles and bland martial arts, this lumbering sequel starts off on a dud note and simply goes downhill. There's zero energy, suspense or excitement generated as Step Up director Jon M Chu dances around the fact he has a shambolic script with cardboard cut-outs wearing silly costumes to animate action that mostly exists to shove in outlandish vehicles taken from the Hasbro toy range. The best sequence is an aerial assault on a Himalayan retreat by swooping ninja assassins; otherwise, this dumb ramble isn't a patch on the original.