We'll Never Have Paris

This lacklustre romantic comedy seems a little like a lost episode in the life of Simon Helberg's Big Bang Theory character, Howard Wolowitz. Purportedly inspired by the courtship of Helberg and his wife Jocelyn Towne (who co-directs), We'll Never Have Paris also feels like a discarded draft of an early Woody Allen picture, as Helberg's jazz piano-playing florist breaks up with longtime university tutor girlfriend Melanie Lynskey because blonde co-worker Maggie Grace thinks she might have a crush on him. The scene shifts to Paris when Helberg (with a little help from buddy Zachary Quinto and father Alfred Molina) realises he's made a monumental mistake. But Lynskey (who is typically excellent) has already started seeing dashing violinist Ebon Moss-Bachrach. No one will be in any doubt how this on-off saga will end, but what will most disappoint Big Bang fans is the chauvinism of the conceit and the passive-aggressive, neurotic narcissism of Helberg's charmless performance.