The Tudors
Episode Guide
Series one
Go to Series two
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Episode 1/10
When his beloved uncle is assassinated by the hated French, Henry is intent on revenge. As the King pitches for war, his trusted chancellor Cardinal Wolsey has other plans, and a personal agenda. Closer to home, Henry is plagued by fears that his Queen is cursed after she repeatedly fails to produce a male heir. Meanwhile, he finds himself at loggerheads with the proud Duke of Buckingham, who secretly begins plotting to overthrow him.RT Choice (Alison Graham, 5 October 2007)
Forget sober accuracy - this is a history lesson that could have been written by Playboy boss Hugh Hefner. It's a riotous, roistering, boobs-and-bums view of Tudor England, packed with panting blondes queuing up in their nighties to get a good seeing-to from priapic monarch Henry VIII (the dainty, but charismatic and rather sexy Jonathan Rhys Meyers). It's a wonder Henry ever had time to dissolve the monasteries and make himself head of the Church of England; all of that sex must surely have got in the way.
The Tudors is, in short, a hoot, full of men in big hats whispering in corridors and dialogue so stilted it could prop up a lift-shaft. But it's good fun in its daft way, as long as you don't approach it as some kind of A-level set text. Enjoy it for what it is - a confection.
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Episode 2/10
Henry and his court arrive at Val d'Or for a summit meeting with the French. But on learning that Charles V of Spain has been elected Holy Roman Emperor, Henry instructs Wolsey to begin preparations for an alliance with Spain that will exclude France - unaware that he is jeopardising the Cardinal's plans to be elected pope. Meanwhile, Ambassador Thomas Boleyn ensures Henry takes notice of his daughter Mary, and warns Wolsey of the assassination plot against the King. RT Choice (Alison Graham, 12 October 2007)
The Tudors - or The Tud-phwoars, as I prefer it - continues on its saucy way now that young Henry VIII (the highly watchable Jonathan Rhys Meyers, who never ignores any opportunity to strip off to his pants, or even less) casts his covetous glance in the direction of young minx Anne Boleyn (Natalie Dormer).
I'm certain the whole thing is a towering pile of nonsense, yet it's as hard to resist as a heart-shaped box of champagne truffles.
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Episode 3/10
Intent on solidifying an alliance with Spain, Henry promises his young daughter Mary to King Charles V, while his reluctant sister Margaret becomes engaged to the elderly King of Portugal. Queen Catherine is pleased with the prospect of uniting her Spanish and English families, but she's suspicious of Cardinal Wolsey's intentions and worried that Henry's feelings for her are on the wane. It's perfect timing for Thomas Boleyn to position his alluring daughter Anne as one of Catherine's ladies-in-waiting.RT Choice (David Butcher, 19 October 2007)
Debate has raged in history circles over whether The Tudors is Tudor enough. Well, put it this way - the dialogue is certainly half-timbered.
But the real problem tonight is that not much happens. It's one thing to be accused of playing fast and loose with well-loved British history, but playing slow and loose is harder to forgive.
The real pleasure consists in watching gorgeous actors cavorting around wearing curtains and sofa cushions. And lip gloss, plenty of lip gloss. On that level, it's terrific.
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Episode 4/10
Henry explodes in anger at Martin Luther's response to his pamphlet defending the Catholic Church. Meanwhile, Wolsey appoints Thomas Cromwell as the King's new secretary, unaware that Cromwell is himself allied with religious dissenters. The good news arrives of Charles V's defeat of the French in Italy but Henry remains distracted by his growing obsession with Anne Boleyn. Margaret arrives in Portugal for her wedding to the ageing King, but soon takes drastic steps to terminate the union. -
Episode 5/10
Desperate for a male heir, Henry formally recognises Elizabeth Blount's son as his own - but tragedy is soon to strike. Continuing his pursuit of Anne Boleyn, whose resolve is beginning to weaken, Henry redoubles the pressure on Wolsey to achieve a favourable ruling on his divorce. En route from Portugal, following the death of her husband the King, Princess Margaret agrees to marry Brandon - but Henry is furious that she has gone ahead without his consent. RT Choice (Alison Graham, 2 November 2007)
The politics of this particularly dark period of English history are probably familiar to just about everyone, but The Tudors manages to keep it fresh and interesting thanks largely to Jonathan Rhys Meyers's towering, almost wolf-like performance as a murderous monster who is determined, by whatever means, to get his own way.
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Episode 6/10
As Wolsey travels to Paris with a new treaty, Anne aims to further the schemes of her father and Norfolk by planting seeds of doubt in the King's mind regarding the Cardinal's loyalty. Further undermining Wolsey's credibility, Queen Catherine shares her own concerns with the Spanish envoy. With the news that the Pope has escaped imprisonment, Cromwell convinces Henry to dispatch a private envoy to Italy to request the divorce directly. -
Episode 7/10
With a plague sweeping England, Henry seeks refuge away from court - and those he holds most dear. His subjects are suffering from both the rigours of the disease and the resulting famine, and the King begins to doubt his abilities as a monarch. But as the epidemic subsides, Henry receives good news - Anne has miraculously survived, and an envoy of the Pope is on his way to England to consider Henry's request for a divorce.RT Choice (David Butcher, 16 November 2007)
The Tudors has been compared to Rome and teased for being Footballers' Damsels. It strikes me it's too ponderous to be either. In Rome we were never more than a few minutes from some crunching plot development, and no-one ever called Footballers' Wives slow.
But this saga of the crew-cut king and his entourage barely plods along. It's all talk and no breeches. Tonight, there's much angsting over a sickness that's sweeping the land, but other than that very little happens. Come on, chaps - swash some buckles or something!
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Episode 8/10
Wolsey attempts to reach an agreement with the Pope's emissary, Cardinal Campeggio, over Henry's request for a divorce. But Queen Catherine's popularity at court, and her refusal to abdicate, mean ill will is building against Wolsey. The King himself is becoming impatient with his adviser and when Anne Boleyn warns him there is a traitor in his midst, Henry's suspicions fall on Wolsey. Could time be running out for the Cardinal?RT Choice (David Butcher, 23 November 2007)
After several episodes of exhaustive intrigue over whether King Henry can or can't wriggle out of his marriage to Catherine of Aragon, I'm starting to wish somebody had invented the quickie divorce 500 years ago. Failing that, a bit more oomph wouldn't hurt: the best we get tonight is a quick scrap between two elderly cardinals and the odd quadrille - other than that, it's talk, talk, talk all the way.
Luckily, Maria Doyle Kennedy brings a magnificent intensity to her role as the wronged queen, still trying to save her husband from the clutches of Anne Boleyn. For her performance alone, this bejewelled trinket of a drama is worth sticking with.
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Episode 9/10
As Henry awaits the verdict of Cardinal Campeggio's ecclesiastical court, he dispatches Sir Thomas More to France with orders to shore up England's relationship with Francis I and ensure he does not reconcile with Spain. When word from Rome delays the ruling of the court for several months, Anne seizes the chance to introduce Henry to the Protestant teachings of Martin Luther - just as More returns from France with the worst possible news for Wolsey.RT Choice (Jane Rackham, 30 November 2007)
I'm getting more frustrated than Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn combined at the unbearably protracted way this drama is depicting the procession towards their marriage. At times the hearing over the king's annulment moves even slower than doddery old Cardinal Campeggio.
Thankfully the downfall of Cardinal Wolsey is going at full pelt, which relieves the tedium. In this episode Wolsey gets his comeuppance, with Sam Neill skilfully transforming his character from the powerful, manipulating government minister we're used to seeing stalking the corridors of power to an anxious has-been as he loses his influence at court.
If that doesn't get you warbling madrigals with excitement, at least there's Natalie Dormer's ravishing wardrobe to gaze upon in wonder.
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Episode 10/10
Even as Henry's new chancellor Sir Thomas More begins a bloody campaign against religious heretics, Anne Boleyn persuades the King to consider the merits of Martin Luther's writings - especially as they pertain to the monarch's authority over the Pope. Meanwhile, Wolsey and Catherine realise they could be of use to one another, but when Sir Thomas Boleyn returns from Italy with bad news regarding the prospect of a divorce, rumours of their conspiracy force Henry's hand.
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