If you buy it too early, will it be droopy and forlorn by Christmas day? Then again, you desperately want a tree. Right now.
It’s crucial you prepare your palette for the main event. This is simply a kind way to get your body ready for the sudden onslaught of turkey, potatoes, cranberry sauce, bread sauce, parsnips…
Yeah, you’re off to get a Christmas sandwich aren’t you?
You know every line, you know it’s ridiculous, you don’t find Hugh Grant’s Prime Minister dance quite as hilarious anymore… but it still fills you with indescribable joy.
Even the ones you usually can’t stand. That very annoying guy at work is suddenly surrounded in a warm angelic glow and you want to hug him.
You’ve given up even pretending to work and are now just endlessly making tea to go with all the baked goods on your desk.
Wait, is that SNOW?!! Oh, no it’s just a bit of litter glinting in the sunlight.
“God, my laptop is SO old now! I might have to buy myself a new one but they’re just SO expensive. Except that there is this deal on which means they’re a bit less. If you buy it in time for Christmas. It can’t be after Christmas though. It has to be FOR Christmas.”
That spiced egg nog gingerbread chocolate marshmallow cinnamon brandy Christmas pudding drink makes you want to be sick, but it’s in such a festive cup you just can’t resist.
Toast or mince pies, what’s the difference really? And brandy butter is basically just butter. So you’re really having your usual breakfast, but a bit tastier.
Last year your mum’s uncle’s uncle gave you that book about stamp collecting and implied you’d put on a huge amount of weight and your career was pointless before talking about Stalin for seven hours. But now you’re feeling so full of joy you’re sure it’ll be nice to see him again…
Kasia is a TV, film and arts journalist who writes news, feautures and comment. She spends a lot of time feeling nostalgic about 90s American films and working her way back through the Desert Island Discs archive.