America has a GDP of about 17 and a half trillion dollars, a debt of about $18 trillion and a population that will hit 320 million pretty soon – about half a million of them on active duty in the army. Over the last two years Congress passed 297 bills, and those were a slow two years. American National Parks cover over 84 million acres, and every day Americans eat 100 acres of pizza. America is huge and complex and sometimes it involves Barack Obama – Commander in Chief and head of the executive branch of the federal government – tweeting about peas and guacamole. What is going on?
Right, it all started when the New York Times tweeted out a surprising recipe for making guacamole – the Tex-Mexican avocado dish that’s 18 times better than true love.
A fun tip! (You might think.) Makes sense! (You continue.) Avocados and peas are both green! (You observe.) You might think this is the most innocuous kitchen experiment since that thing with the floating eggs, but you would be wrong.
Despite food writer Melissa Clark arguing that it was “one of those radical moves that is also completely obvious after you taste it” – that the peas enhance the green colour of the dip, stop it turning brown in the fridge and make it “more substantial on the chip”– there was uproar on Twitter. Swiftly christening it ‘pea-gate’ (remember this is the country that actually had Watergate), the masses mobilised.
British people: imagine if the BBC claimed you should put the milk in before the tea and you’re just about there.
So far, so Twitter, but then politics got involved. The account of the Texas Republican party decided this was a war on the south.
Then Texas governor Jeb Bush – brother and son to the presidency and a candidate for the top seat himself – stepped in.
(To be fair to Bush, he has held firm on the peas-in-avocado issue since an interview with Jimmy Fallon last month. He ain’t a guac-flip-flopper.)
At this time of national strife, when brother was fighting brother (over peas) and the bonds between neighbours were dissolving fast (over peas), it was up to 44th President Barack Hussein Obama to step in, heal the rift and let better angels prevail. ‘We are not enemies, but friends,’ he seemed to say, after getting asked about it in an online question and answer session.
God bless the United States of America.