Raconteur Louis Van Gaal steals the show at Manchester United awards night

"Hello. Hello. Hey. Pay attention to the manager." Read the best quotes from the United manager's bizarre awards dinner speech

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Somebody sign Manchester United manager Louis Van Gaal up for a chat show.

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The Dutchman proved himself a master of the anecdote at Man Utd’s awards dinner on Monday night with a rambling monologue fuelled by charisma (and perhaps a little Dutch courage).

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Rambling, rousing, incoherent and occasionally inspirational, here are some of Van Gaal’s best lines, along with our favourite reactions online.


“Hello. Hello. Hey. Pay attention to the manager.”


“I am also a human being…”


“How is it possible that the fans are supporting me?”


We had the belief… that we could end second. I remember the meeting with the players, with the captain Wayne Rooney who’s saying, ‘We go for the second position in the league’, and I said, YESSS! WE GO FOR IT!'”


“I have said to you that you are the best fans of the world but I was tonight a little bit disappointed. And I shall say why. I have seen a lady who plays the saxophone fantastically. Give her a big applause!”


“No no no no. You have to listen. I ASK YOU TO LISTEN.”