House of Cards Series 3 Review: Chapter 37

Series 3 Episode 11 - voters prefer blondes

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Jonathan is watching and reviewing every episode of House of Cards series three in one epic binge. Follow his progress here.

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Voters prefer blondes, and thus Claire is blonde again. She’s not having much fun though, stumping for Frank and talking about her blissful marriage over and over again until the words ring hollow. Frank Underwood is a man who demands a lot from his women.

During the Democratic party debate Frank cajoles Jackie ­–his secret ally and running mate– into delivering some thinly veiled sexist attacks against Hannah Dunbar: bad mother, snooty careerist, what have you done for the sisterhood and are those crow’s feet? The usual nonsense.

Then, when the mudslinging backfires, Underwood throws Jackie and her privately educated stepchildren under the bus.

Jackie can’t be too annoyed. After all, she tried to betray Frank only six hours previously during a secret meeting with Dunbar. She can’t even be too surprised: this is Frank Underwood we are talking about. As Freddy says, criticising him for ruthlessness is like criticising a snake for having fangs. If you get bit, it’s your own fault. Everyone knows his ways by now.

Everyone, that is, except for the person who claims to know him best after almost thirty years of marriage. Since ‘choosing’ to step down as ambassador, Claire has realised she is giving the marriage an awful lot more than she is getting.

Under some prompting from Tom Yates, the buggle eyed writer with his uniform hair and forehead, she admits that she accepted Frank’s proposal almost as a delaying tactic for suicide, and the union has been on a constant seven year probation ever since. In one of those brilliantly unsubtle and macabre images that makes House of Cards so addictive, she is giving blood when she says Frank “feeds” off of her like a vampire.

Speaking of creepy parasitic relationships, Gavin Orsay used his super magic hacker powers to make every phone in Doug’s house ring at the same time. The message? Hahaha! I have escaped the country and Rachel is still alive after all! Hahahaha! Haha!

Don’t expect Doug to let his stalker fixation drop. His commitment remains as strong as ever, even as others waver.


The Quotable Underwood

Dunbar: “Wow, you must really want to be president.” 

Frank: “Down South we call that as clear as a glass of moonshine.”

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Frank: “Six-gun Underwood is what they call me in South Carolina.”