SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!
Game of Thrones series four came to a dramatic conclusion last night in an episode which saw a murderous Tyrion break free from prison to strangle former lover Shae and shoot his father Tywin with a crossbow while he sat on the loo. Not the dignified death he aspired to, I assume.
The Hound appeared to breathe his last after a deadly brawl with Brienne before Ayra slipped away and boarded a boat to Braavos, while across the sea Daenerys made the decision lock up her dragons when they started snacking on the children of Meereen.
Meanwhile, beyond The Wall, Stannis and Davos arrived on the scene with an impressive army in tow, Jon Snow gave Ygritte a dignified cremation and Bran finally found his three-eyed raven, but lost Jojen Reed to a stab-happy skeleton.
It was a plot-packed finale which concluded a series full of twists, shock deaths and gory don't-watch-while-you're-eating moments.
How can the fifth series possibly live up to the increasing hype that surrounds each episode? Well, I've put my thinking cap on...
[Disclaimer: I haven’t read the books. Clearly.]
Arya and Brienne should become a crime-fighting duo
I know Arya's hopped on a boat to Braavos – and she 'doesn’t need saving or rescuing by anyone', blah blah blah – but I reckon the youngest Stark girl and Brienne would actually make a pretty awesome duo. Take Ayra’s penchant for revenge killings and Brienne’s strong moral core and you’ve got yourself a crime-fighting dream team. They could travel the length and breadth of Westeros, with Podrick for company, righting those many, many wrongs.
Tyrion should join Daenerys
Now that the smartest man in Westeros has snuffed out Twyin – the Lannister puppet master – King's Landing is no place for Tyrion. Those brains would be wasted on a life of exile though. So naturally he should head over to Slavers Bay and join Daenerys's side. She’s in need of some guidance now that she’s sent Ser Jorah away (and a little refocusing – has she forgotten about the Seven Kingdoms all together?) Plus the pair would clearly get on. AND it would mean our two favourite characters would be in the same scenes together. It’s a win-win.
Sam should retire to the country
Fighting wildlings, wielding weapons… Gentle Sam might have successfully killed a White Walker back in series three but he’s not cut out for life at Castle Black. You can practically see him dreaming of a two-up two-down in a little commuter town. You know, with window boxes. Perhaps a vegetable patch. And a little swing set where Sam Junior can play.
Sansa should become Queen of the Vale
If Littlefinger pushed horrid little Robin through the Moon Door he loves so much, would Sansa inherit the Eyrie? Possibly not. But she should. I am very much enjoying new, manipulative, street-smart Sansa. After episodes and episodes of her looking petulant or simpering quietly in the corner, she's finally coming into her own. Winterfell might have fallen but it might just be time for the remaining Starks to start a new stronghold in the North...
Joffrey should return as a White Walker
Yes, he was horrid, sadistic and vile, but I miss that guy. There was nothing I loved to hate more than that inbred, crown-wearing, power-wielding Lannister. Westeros might be better off without him, but wouldn't it make for an awesome twist if the former king of the Seven Kingdoms was resurrected as a White Walker and tried to reclaim his throne? Yes. Yes, it would.