Claire and Phil's house is on the market. And it is not, we repeat, not a Phil Dunphy listing.
That is, of course, because the property, where the exterior shots of the Dunphy's home are filmed, is being sold in the real world and not in the hit ABC mockumentary Modern Family.
But it's still a move unlikely to impress the self titled "real estate mogul." And while we're sure the current owner of the 2,792-square-foot, four-bedroom house in Cheviot Hills won't have any trouble finding a buyer - $2.35 million price tag or not - there's no harm in Phil offering up a few pearls of wisdom for his on-screen home's estate agent, now, is there? Here goes:
"Every realtor is just a ninja in a blazer."
"I got to be the top realtor of the year by thinking inside the box. That's right, I said inside. Because while everyone is chasing each other outside, what is the box? Empty."
"I can't be satisfied, until you're satisfied."
"Don't insult my selling. That crosses a line. What line? Oh, you don't see it? That's because I just sold it."
"Some people call me a salesperson. I call myself a salesfriend."
If all that fails, the realtor ABC:
Modern Family is on Sky 1 on Mondays at 8:30pm.