It's probably fair to say he won't be there for him when the rain starts to fall, if last night's bust-up between Friends star Matthew Perry and Mail on Sunday columnist Peter Hitchens was anything to go by.
Invited to the BBC current affairs show to discuss the validity of drugs courts, Perry was soon enraged by Hitchens's hypothesis of the "fantasy of addiction", calling the author's ideas "as ludicrous as saying Peter Pan is real" – and later referring to Hitchens as "Santa".
Hitchens fought back against Perry, a self-confessed drug addict most famous for playing Chandler Bing in US sitcom Friends, saying "this is a very serious subject and you treat it with immense levity."
"The policy which you so smugly and loftily advocate, this policy has led to disaster in western countries for decades."
As Baroness Meacher and Jeremy Paxman watched on, the "debate" continued to descend to such a level that Ian Katz, Newsnight editor, was compelled to tweet this message:
Here's that video in full: